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SueParticipantHi Sunita,
I do feel that the hurt will go someday because every so often I get a tiny moment of clarity where I don’t hurt anymore, and while it can sometimes be fleeting, it does appear and if I can feel that way for a moment, why can’t it be for a few more, then an hour, then a day…..etc…
I still feel our relationship was meant to be – everything just clicked, more so than just coincidence or that we happened to like the same things, etc. I was married for 34 years until cancer took my husband, and while of course I loved him and shared a good life with him, with this other fellow I felt an ease and comfort I didn’t even feel with my husband. I was so relaxed and at peace even when just sitting beside him at a car show in the park. It’s a peace I haven’t felt before if that made any sense. It just felt right.
I feel shortchanged – for the life I didn’t get a chance to live with my late husband, and for finding someone else only to have it end as well. I have only loved two men in my whole life and lost them both. Not sure if I want to try a third time.
Sue
SueParticipantI understand exactly what you are feeling. There is someone I loved a few years ago, and even though he ended the romantic part of our relationship, we are still friends as we belong to the same social groups so not seeing him is not an option. I do enjoy his company and we get along well as friends, but after each event, I go home and cry my eyes out because the romantic part didn’t work and I’m so very lonely.
I don’t know what advice to give you because I too feel that he and I were meant to be. It just felt so right and deep down inside I still think there is a glimmer of hope, even though he is with someone else now.
You are not alone – it hurts – but one day it won’t anymore.
SueParticipantHi Anita, without living through what I did it must seem like most of my comments are assumptions, but they are indeed the truth. The young man was an opportunist – he used to admit living off of his girlfriend’s money and thought it was cool – but I was just too much in the grief cycle to see clearly.
I don’t want to write volumes to justify my feelings, but having gone through them, they are valid observations, and I was unfortunate enough to have picked the wrong person to trust. There are lots of kind people out there but I will be more cautious who I befriend in the future.
SueParticipantThank you Matt for your thoughtful words – you have some valuable advice there for me and it’s much appreciated.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 