I lost my baby girl inside my body. She was 8 months old and I was broken in two. I lost my marriage 2 years after and lost everything and everyone I have had ever known. I live 5000kms from my family and have gone through this alone. My heart burns for her right now as I speak. Just sharing this helps me, it has let tears flow from my heart for my girl. I need help and reaching out here has already brought light to what I have been bottling up, thank you so much. I am so scared of losing and shut myself away in fear of losing anyone when I begin to feel a warmth in the friendship, a connection and then other times clinging onto them so nothing will happen to them and the fear of losing them. I cant find my feet many times. I work with people who are caring, this helps me too, just to have company and the feeling of belonging but I have never opened up, fearing getting close and feel I need to really see myself now. She was the dearest most gorgeousness little girl. I miss her so much, I never got to see her eyes open and when my milk came in for her I was watching her being buried at the same time. What has this done to me. how has this affected me in relation to others, how as human beings as a whole. I want to find out so I can return to where my life began, life that began all over again when I lost my child. My heart yearns out and I cry for her now, you have helped me touch something so deep and trapped in paralyzed fear of feeling it.

With all my heart, thank you.