I am curious – did he ever know your true feelings for him? I just ask this, as I have a friend who is in a similar situation (although she was intimate with here guy, but only ever on a casual basis – not sure if you ever got there). She has since moved away from him, but has not stopped thinking about him (she actually plans to see him again soon). But even while she was living in his same city, she would fantasize about having this “relationship” with him, and would be disappointed when he did not reciprocate. It was like she had created her own story and relationship in her head and would go so far as to put words to his actions. But the thing is, he never knew her true feelings – she never expressed that her feelings had grown deep for him. Based on her actions, he probably thought she only wanted a casual relationship as she never expressed anymore than that, and would joke about being his booty call. From hearing that kind of talk from her, he probably thought that is all she wanted. She would make presumptions as you did “he is not someone who can or will give that” – how do you know for sure? Maybe he can or cannot, but you will never know until you ask, and until you divulge your true feelings. For my friend, her fear is she will lose him, but the thing is she never really had him, or at least had him the way she wanted. I have been practicing, as difficult as it is at times, to just spill it all out…hold nothing back – and I have to say so far the results have been very positive – issues have been resolved and dialogues opened up. Worse case scenario for you, he confirms what you believe, and then you can make a choice to accept you will never be more than friends and the glimmer of hope is removed, or you move on – but at least if you choose to move on, it is with knowledge and understanding. Best case scenario, he may too have similar feelings but was afraid to express them as he thought they may push you away as a friend? And even better case scenario, you have taken your first step in being honest with yourself and others and have begun a practice to express yourself to others. Good luck! And I would love to hear how things evolve…