Your story inspired me. You are incredibly strong for enduring all those things that came to you all at a time, While still providing as a Mother a Daughter and a Wife. It also sounds like you were selfless and didn’t take time to love and care for yourself. You DESERVE that. Luckily the home and stuff in the home are just things. And while I understand things have value and or are special they are still things. Your father would be proud to see you survive all this. I cant imagine the stress and heartbreak you are going through and or went through during those hard times. Your father taught you love, and you can see that in your story while you admit some pretty deep things. Its ok to be wrong and make mistakes I can assure you that you wouldn’t repeat them again. You learn so much after all these experiences and here you are now in your little apartment that will soon grown on to you and you will be able to add things inside of it little by little. There is no rush take your time <3 and just breathe<3