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SunflowerParticipant
Matt, Sara and Barbara:
I read all of your postings, and was about to post a reply and say “take a break”, but looks like you, Barbara, have figured it out. It is amazing how we sometimes just need to put things in writing and we get some clarity. It is a difficult decision to make, but what do you have to lose, at the end of the day you need to find that place of being happy, listened to, honored and respected. It your “magic” is real for both of you and you discover more about you Barbara, then whatever happens will just come into play and you will be fine. We can’t worry about today or tomorrow, just stay in each moment you have to discover yourself, otherwise any relationship you enter might have the same results each time.
Best wishes to you Barbara.
Linda
SunflowerParticipantI believe that we don’t make the choice initially to “hurt”, something done, said, or imagined has entered our being and the hurt or ache, whether mental or physical is the feeling/result that gives us life. If you don’t feel pain or hurt you aren’t alive, not that you have to be hurt or feel pain to be alive, I think everyone has felt hurt at sometime in their life. We are awakened to either make a change or stay where we are, if choices are to not make any changes, to make our life or situation better, I think then we are chosing. I believe that to tell someone they made the choice to hurt would add a little more to their plate than they need. I also believe it is easier to focus on the bad in society today, but there is a difference in what we think and how we hurt. Something in our past that has hurt us mentally and physically stays in our memory for a lifetime, somethings we will never forget, but we can chose where to put it. I don’t know if I am making sense here, but I think our minds are like computers, we can put more good things in that are better than the bad and sometimes those bad things get smaller in proportion in our thoughts of them. It is sometimes easier to stay where we are than to make great changes that in the end will benefit us much more.
Linda
SunflowerParticipantHi Jamie:
My daughter married last year in September, her new husband came home six months after the wedding and announced he wasn’t happy and wanted a divorce. We don’t live in close proximity of each other so we talked on the phone a few times every day for quite a while and still do. I understand what you are going through. I just kept telling my daughter that when God closes one door he opens another. Not real helpful words at a time when you are hurting so much and it was a struggle for her too. After the divorce was final she met this wonderful young man that just adores her the way she should be adored, his marriage ended the same way, his was a few years ago so they aren’t on the rebound and it has taken her sometime to put her trust in a lot of things. I think what is most important is “you”..you will have days of struggle, your heart has been broken and you think it will never heal, but it will. If you have a good support system that also helps, staying busy and being kind to yourself, if you need to talk about how you are feeling reach out to someone you trust. We women tend to need to talk and talk until we are either exhausted of talking or figure something out and then sometimes we still don’t resolve the issue, but some how we feel a little better when we have someone to talk to. It is ok to feel sadness and lonely at times, try not to stay there though. Find a new hobby, do things that you might have always wanted to do but for some reason didn’t do them. Now is “your” time, spend it wisely and thoughtfully.
Linda
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