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Sarah JaneParticipantThank you Bill and Will, anything is worth a try…..
Sarah JaneParticipantHi October,
many thanks for your reply. I am happy to hear that you did manage to get past the feelings of hopelessness :-)! I have told a select few people how bad I am feeling, but I think because I am such a reserved calm person on the outside, and friendly and sociable, they don’t seem to realize the severity of my bad feelings? Also, I am the sort of person that will always do for others rather than myself, so it is probably not as evident to them as to what is going on, as I would never want to let them down, so would do whatever it is I have promised come what may, illness or not, and then pay for it afterwards behind closed doors. I have had to have fourteen operations and procedures done in the last two years, and have been suffering from some long term chronic pain conditions too, that cause multiple issues with health. I have also had breast cancer in that time, and a mastectomy. I was due to have a reconstruction done, but this has all gone by the wayside, as I am just getting one infection after another, so am not healthy enough right now, and it doesn’t appear to be changing for the better?Thank you
Kind Regards
Sarah-JaneSarah JaneParticipantHi Al,
many thanks for your reply, and taking the time to offer support :-). In my case some serious long term medical conditions including breast cancer have impacted on my mental well being, causing first anxiety and eventually depression. I take good heed about taking small steps, it is a good point, especially if the end result is good! Unfortunately at the moment ill health is impacting on my feelings, making me feel extremely down. I have spoken to some health professionals about this, but as I am not a drama queen I don’t think they realize the severity of it???Many thanks again
Sarah-JaneSarah JaneParticipantHi Yohannes,
how are you? Just wanted to let you know that a lot of us Tiny Buddha buddies are still out here and are rooting for you, and hoping that you will find the strength and support you need to feel you can carry on, despite all of your difficulties.Best Wishes
Sarah – JaneSarah JaneParticipantHi Audrey,
have you had your blood tested for Underactive Thyroid? This condition can make you gain weight rapidly despite exercise and healthy diet. I find that I cannot lose weight even on 900 calories a day and regular exercise, unless I exercise for aprox two to three hours a day, and even then would only be able to lose aprox one pound or half a pound a week. Before diagnosis I gained five a half stone in eighteen months. (There are fourteen pounds in a stone)!!!I hope that there is not a medical problem causing your weight gain, but sometimes it is best to check if this is really abnormal for you.
Sarah-Jane
Sarah JaneParticipantHi Jasmine,
thank you for your message. I haven’t been on Tiny Buddha lately as have been ill, and have had lots of hospital stuff going on too…..just spent half a day at one hospital miles away, and then the other half of the day at a different one, and was at another different one, more local, yesterday! But will be at work part time tomorrow, pasting on the smile and pretending all is honky dorey :-), of course. I have tried the meditation, but didn’t feel any benefit at all yet? I have also tried relaxation tapes, and Yoga. The Yoga is a distraction as I have to concentrate on what I need to do, but that’s as far as it goes really.Thanks again for your message
Sarah-JaneSarah JaneParticipantHi Krista,
thank you, that is very kind of you :-)!! Your lovely smile will make me want to keep fighting, I will think of that! Hope all is going well for you? How do you manage to remain positive??? I am struggling again at the moment, with more ill health, and do keep on keeping on, if you see what I mean, but I think my body and mind are both so exhausted that nothing feels right anymore.Best wishes and smiles in return
Sarah-JaneSarah JaneParticipantDear Yohannes, you are not a DISAPPOINTMENT to me, or to anyone else on Tiny Buddha. You are a decent unique human being who is having a desperately difficult time of it. I know you said you don’t want to be average, but you are not, you are a special person who needs some medical help, and I am sure there are many people out there who would be more than willing to help you, if only you could talk to them and tell them exactly how you are feeling? Have you told your girlfriend how bad you are feeling now? Perhaps she could come with you to seek some help, and it is surprising how much different things can feel if only you don’t have to feel you are on your own with all of your feelings. Don’t forget your lovely dog is relying on you too, and dogs are very sensitive animals I am sure he/she knows you are suffering too. Please, please, seek some help straightaway. If you cannot face explaining to a Dr how you are feeling write it down and give it to them to read before they see you. Another avenue would be to call someone like the ‘Samaritans’, I don’t know if you have them in your country, but any agency who offers a confidential listening ear? People say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, so in essence this means that things won’t always be this way, even though it must feel like that right now. I do understand some of how you are feeling as I am suffering from depression/anxiety and suicidal feelings too, so I know it is a constant struggle, but please don’t give up!!! One day you and your girlfriend will look back on these rough times and in awe of how you managed to get through them! Please write again on your Topic and keep in touch with all of your Tiny Buddha friends out here, we are all thinking of you, and want you to be safe in the knowledge we all want to offer our support and love to you. Sending you a big sack of smiles and loads of love and best wishes for better days.
Sarah-JaneSarah JaneParticipantHi Jasmine – 3,
many thanks for the you tube links, I will give them a try, and it will be interesting to see if anything changes!Thank you very much
Sarah-JaneSarah JaneParticipantHi Louise,
thank you for all of the details.Sarah-Jane
Sarah JaneParticipantSorry I meant ‘meditation’ not medication!
Sarah JaneParticipantHi Jasmine,
thank you for your response. I will try the medication, and I think as it has the music element to it it will help me to focus more. I do not hold anger and resentment, as easily forgive people, except for myself I suppose! That realization has only just come to me as I have been writing this!! I very rarely, if ever, feel angry, but am more likely to take things inwardly and be very upset and cry. It is funny in a way that I am always very shocked if people treat me badly, as I always treat others the way I would like to be treated.Thanks for your advice
Sarah – JaneSarah JaneParticipantHi Kaya,
thanks for your response, it was good of you to take the time to write, when you are suffering yourself! My pain is widespread throughout most of my body, as I suffer from Fibromyalgia Syndrome and also from Osteoarthritis, as well as Interstital Cystitis or Painful Bladder Syndrome, which is excruciatingly painful to the point of not being able to stand up or sit at times. I feel I am in a vicious circle of trying to avoid having pain killers and then getting in too much pain and having to have them, or having to have stronger ones. It is pretty awful trying to function at work feeling dreadful all of the time with the pain and with re-current infections too!!! I find it very difficult to sleep properly too because of feeling ill, or being in pain. It is funny you should mention about the Amalgam fillings, as I have just had one replaced, and only have two of them left in my mouth which I am planning to have replaced in the next two weeks, so it will be interesting to see if anything changes after that! I also suffer from chronic daily headaches and frequent migraines despite being on migraine prevention medication. I do try to help myself as much as possible, but am stuck in this cycle of pain and illness from which there doesn’t seem to be any escape, despite all of my best efforts!!! I really hope that you have more better days, and less worse days asap.
Best wishes for good health and less pain!
Sarah-Jane 🙂Sarah JaneParticipantHi Inky,
thanks for your reply, and sorry for my late response……has been a rough week! In our country you can only see someone at the pain clinic if you are referred there by your General Practioner, (unless you can afford to pay privately, and this costs a small fortune!). I did see a consultant at a pain clinic years ago, it was one of the worst experiences I have had with medical staff in my life. After waiting fourteen months just to see him, and filling out two very long questionairres, as I walked into his room he was very abrupt to the point of being rude and said that he wouldn’t prescribe morphine for me, which I definitely didn’t want anyway? I had had to have it in hospital on a few occasions and it always made me very sick, so I definitely did not want to be on that on a regular basis. I tried to explain to him about my situation and he wasn’t even listening and was talking over me all of the time!!! To cut a long story short I ended up in floods of tears after the appt, and with no help after the very long wait! As far as giving myself stickers for little achievements, I do actually have the opposite problem, as I think I can still do everything I always did and make myself worse trying to do it all. I never want to stop until I have done everything that needs doing, and then of course I pay the price for it. I haven’t tried any special diets as I wasn’t aware of any for this particular kind of problem, other than eating healthily and exercising regularly? I am not sure what ‘Stephen ministers’ are? Which country are these in? One of the most difficult things is trying to hide what is wrong from colleagues and friends or family, so as not to sound as though I am constantly grumbling about pain or health issues, but at the same time not wanting to lie to them. As far as films go, I am unable to concentrate on them due to the pain and fatigue, and the same with books too, which is oh so frustrating as I can never remember the details of what I have read, and sometimes even the basics of it.
Many thanks for your kindness and support
Sarah-Jane 🙂Sarah JaneParticipantHi Louise,
I haven’t tried this meditation yet, as have been ill yet again, but will let you know once I do. Thank you for the details of the radio programme and the advice line, which country is it in, as I was thinking about the time differences!!!? It is interesting that you mentioned about PTSD in the soldiers, as I was reading that some people who have had a diagnosis of cancer, or other serious illness, can suffer from this. It rang alarm bells with me, as I keep going over and over things in my mind and it is just as though it all happened yesterday. I don’t know if it is because so much happened to me all at once (14 operations and procedures in the last two years or so, including a diagnosis of cancer and other long term chronic health conditions). I hardly had time to come up for air, if you can see what I mean, let alone come to terms with any diagnoses. Thanks again for your advice and support. I hope you are well, and happy.
Best Wishes
Sarah-Jane -
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