Dear k8tyB
Im glad to hear life is already a bit sweeter and you can at least look forward to weekends again! .. one step at a time and if you are ready to heal… you are part way there.
You may feel broken now but before long you may look back on it and see as I do as a life re-boot!

I watched Eat, Pray, Love and so many quotes struck a chord with me “Embrace the glorious mess that you are” and my favourite one ” Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing.” – Elizabeth Gilbert.

I hope you continue to move forward and get stronger everyday – keep getting excited – there are so many opportunities opening up to you now and noone holding you back or putting you down and projecting guilt on you
x x x

I have definitely experienced that myself. Was in a 20 year marriage and all the way through was verbally abused. I was treading on eggshells all the time feeling like I wasn’t doing enough to please. Feeling upset at every cross word or argument as it was always made out to be my fault and I was causing the issue. You feel like you arent worthy, no self esteem, feel ugly and unloveable.

It all ended for me 2.5 years ago when he turned to me and said he didn’t love or respect me and he’d had enough and walked out. I was left utterly broken as at the exact same time my mother was diagnosed with MND. It also transpires that he was having an affair with a close family friend as well… which he also blamed on me! for having pushed him out?!
After counselling, self help books, reading the secret and watching eat love pray, among losing my mother, losing my car and family home. I gave myself a life re-boot!!!
I can now say I am in the happiest place Ive been for over 20 years. I can look at myself in the mirror and say I love myself, I have a lovely new home, I have no stress, Ive lost 2 dress sizes and I feel amazing and I am just waiting to find the next love of my life and so know I will find it. You will find it again and you are loveable and worthy of being loved!