Thank you Jerry for sharing.  I have always felt this rage too.  I didn’t recognize it as grief and fear
 but that is exactly what it is, a long with a disease to please.  I can see it now.  I can understand.
I am willing to make an effort to change.  I have the book The Power of Now, I read this far and
kind of got stuck.  Stuck in my own pain.  I never believed I mattered.  It is time to claim it.
I want to do it because I want to do it.  Not because someone is manipulating me into doing it.
I am tired of being manipulated and controlled.  I am always reacting because this is happening.
And I have been thinking lately, I don’t have to give up my power to choose my own actions and
reactions.  I don’t have to give anyone control over me.  This is exactly where I am.  I prayed
before I coincidently joined this forum today.  Namaste.
Brenda