This line stood out the most to me and I kept going back to it: ” Its lack of discipline in her that is preventing her from looking good.”
I wish I could help you understand the tremendous message in that sentence. Most women are already at the mercy of society, media, etc. When we begin a relationship, women are essentially wanting a safe person and place, due to possible trauma/abuse/neglect from their past or possibly lack of guidance, lack of nurturing, lack of love and support.
For her to enter into a relationship with you, she is ultimately hoping for you to be there with safe arms, safe words, and to always be her hero, her friend. She needs to know and feel that you know her, love her, support her, give to her, understand all the nuances and everything she is about, no matter what, no matter the weight, no matter the age, no matter the race, etc.
You are the ultimate safety net, be that for her, be there for her. She is not merely a thing to look good for you.