Lisa, I feel your hurt in many ways. Close to five years ago, my husband left me after close to 36 years of marriage. It began with unbelievable hurt, but, I’m happy to say, is starting a life of happiness for me that I never believed was possible.
I won’t go into the details, except to say that there are parallels. The one thing I can add is that sometimes, crazy becomes normal. My life was crazy. I was married to a man with addictions and problems than neither I nor he wished to face. Right now, you need to look at your own life and see if the unhappiness which is affecting both you and your daughters is a crazy that has become normal for you. Whether you love your husband or not, sometimes, you have to let go of what is unhealthy.
I can offer this bit of hope: Through all the pain divorce and separation can cause comes healing and a chance, if you’re willing to move forward. A site I found invaluable which deals strictly with divorce and its issues is divorce360.com. It can help you deal with whether you should stay or go, and the ramifications of either decision. Through all of this you will find help you never believed possible. Trust me. Whenever I was at the end of my emotional strength, I asked for help, sometimes crying aloud my plea. Every time this happened, I received the help I needed, usually from an unexpected source.
Blessings of peace for you. May you be filled with the peace for which you long, and the joy you deserve.
Susan