I feel that as I had only one child, who has now passed away, it is my mother job to preserve his memory.
It is my job to ensure that he is thought of with love, compassion, and respect.
This sister in law of mine has done exactly the opposite.
As I said previously, this is not about me, this is about respecting the memory of my beloved child.
She crossed a line.
A very dangerous, invasive, primal line.

Her parents, my mother and father in law, are elderly and delicate and very sensitive.
If I were to “go off” on her verbally, and let her know how she is just a cruel, spiteful person, she would immediately go to her parents, who are extremely sweet, and pester them about it. They don’t deserve that. I won’t put them through it.
I’ve come to the conclusion that she is a narcissist, I’ve cut down the communication as much as I possibly can, but it’s like she enjoys hurting me and finds ways to sneak into my life, via fake profiles online, or pretending to have a miscarriage, or pretending to apologize.
This vicious circle has gone on for 12 years. My husband and I have been married for 10.
This is an example of how rude she can be: last year on our wedding anniversary, she wrote, in a public forum, to my husband “I’ve never agreed with your marriage but I guess I should say happy anniversary anyway.”
She is mean. It is pointless. She is interfering with my healing process. I wish I knew a way to politely tell her to suck an egg and forget she ever met me.

footnote: this lady not only tries to argue with me, but with her other siblings, her neighbors, former coworkers, and her childs teachers. This is not totally me, but whatever part of it that IS me, I’d like to repair and move on and do so without this person in my life.
I do not want to offend her family.
I do not want to deal with her again, in any form.
It’s very delicate.