Well, it’s been a tough day. It’s becoming very real that I’m never hearing from him again. My heart is broken and my self-esteem is destroyed. I know I should be exercising or doing yoga, but I’m having a difficult time getting off the couch. I keep imagining that he’s happily going on with his life as though I never existed. Perhaps he’s pleased that he made such a ‘clean’ break from me after 2 years of being together.

I want to contact him one last time, but I restrain myself because of the great likelihood that I’ll be ignored (rejected) again. I’m pretty sure my fragile self can’t take any more abuse.

Hi Anita, I have yet to call him. I simply don’t have the strength (or courage) to contact him right now. Who knows if he’ll even respond! I feel completely rejected and used. How long was he ‘faking’ his feelings for me? How long was he really just lying to me?

Thank you so very much cocolumbine. Don’t apologize for a lengthy response – you provided some valuable insight. I have written an email to him (and rewritten it several times). I’m unsure if I’ll ever send it – what’s the point? It’s clear that he has no intention of contacting me. It was an exhausting day, but the evenings and nights are the worst! Last night, I woke up feeling panicky and anxious, and my mind was racing with thoughts of him and missing him. Of course I wonder what I did that was so horrible to deserve this treatment, but in reading your post, you helped me realize that this was his easy and ‘efficient’ way to end a relationship.

I’ll admit that I’m still in a state of denial and can’t believe that he really wants me out of his life. I’m such a mix of emotions right now: sad, angry, hurt.

I appreciate your kind words cocolumbine and will definitely try to be gentle with myself. I agree that going for a run and getting outdoors will only serve to improve my mood.

I too am sorry that you have experienced the pain and anxiety of being “ghosted”. I wish you all the best!

Hi Anita,

Thank you for your response. No, he has NEVER cut contact before. Even when we would have a disagreement over the phone, he would always always contact me within a few hours with an apology or asking if we could talk. And in person, we never left upset with each other. I`m at a complete loss at trying to understand his current behaviour. Maybe he has met someone?? And if that’s the case, wouldn’t it be easy to say good-bye to me if he already has a replacement? Perhaps he wanted to give ME a reason to leave HIM??

Thanks for your advice. It’s reassuring to know that others feel that I made the right decision. When I’m sitting on the couch alone, I begin to question, and dwell on (!!) my own actions. I present myself as a strong person, but in truth, I have a lot of trouble appreciating myself.