Hey,
I can relate to you as I myself have carried guilt for longest period of time. The thing about guilt is that it is a pull resistance in our lives i.e. it pulls us back… as the African proverb goes, “if there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do no harm”.
So guilt is that internal enemy. You need to know that in order to over come it.
How did I do away with my guilt?
1. I stopped trying to run away from it and embraced it that yes it was I who did those act(s) / thing(s). Embracing it means that I am only human and we are bound to make mistakes because that is called living. To err is human, so allow yourself to be human… nothing wrong in it at all.
2. I raised my awareness around underlying reason(s) for doing why I did and what I did.
3. Forgiveness has two parts. One is to say sorry to yourself and to God and other to commit to yourself to not repeat if you face similar situation. But in case if you do, then nothing wrong still, just repeat the process of forgiveness.
4. Look around people who are going through similar problem and talk to them and share your story and help them out.
We all are amazing people, so stop beating yourself by thinking that you are a terrible person. Accept yourself and Be yourself because you are perfect the way you are always.