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Mina

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  • July 4, 2017 at 3:20 pm in reply to: On a difficult point of life..pls advise.. #156398
    Mina
    Participant

    Dear Maria,

    “For me, love can make anything happen.” -> this statement is not true.  I get the feeling that you might have never experience a real mature love before this one, what I mean by mature love is the kind of love that turns you into a better person instead of damaging you. How come that there is so much “love and understanding” in an abusive relationship with an abusive person? Such relationships that you had described… are not consistent with his behaviour. Your parents wants the best for you. There must be an actual logical reasons of why your parents doesn’t approve. Please consider this relationship. The reason why you cannot see the “direction” is not because you do not know which way to go, you actually know deep down inside, and that is why you’re here. To just make sure. You know that this relationships will not work, you just do not have the courage to let it go. I wish you the best, Maria.

    -Mina

    July 4, 2017 at 3:11 pm in reply to: we broke up because he's feeling numb #156392
    Mina
    Participant

    Dear Anon,

    What I have learnt from my previous recent break up is that love itself is not enough to keep a relationship going. I will not give any kind of realistic advices for you to do because I am also still struggling but all I want you to know is that sometimes .. you just have to let go of the things that are difficult for you. Relationships are not always happy but its not supposed to make you feel really awful too (most of the times) and I get that since its your first everything, its really hard to see things far beyond him but there will be the next one. Trust me. Your first love will always be special, but you will realise later that you will be able to love someone as much as you love him, just in a different way. Make sure to eat and sleep well. All love x

    -Mina

    July 4, 2017 at 2:59 pm in reply to: Self destructive behaviour after a break up? #156388
    Mina
    Participant

    I mean 2-3 times a year not a week. Sorry for the confusion.

    -Mina

    July 4, 2017 at 2:52 pm in reply to: Self destructive behaviour after a break up? #156386
    Mina
    Participant

    And to just make it a little more clearer, I am not hoping for any kind of reunion with him in the future. I just want me and him (us) to still be a part of each other’s live in a way, by wishing each other well. I just genuinely think this person is still an amazing person and a friend regardless of the break up. It is true that I had a lot of attachment to this man as a partner, but I have the intention to keep the friendship going. He also agrees on this. What I mean by staying friends is that we contact each other 2-3 times a week on special occasions like birthday etc and maybe saying hi when we accidentally bump into each other instead of avoiding each other.

    -Mina

    July 4, 2017 at 2:38 pm in reply to: Self destructive behaviour after a break up? #156382
    Mina
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for your amazing reply again. I understand your point, but I have a question regarding this break up that I feel like you might have an opinion on. One of the way that I have been effectively dealing with this break up is by thinking and having the mindset that we broke up BECAUSE we love each other. Him letting me go, and me letting him go is the biggest proof of our love. Just because we are not with that person due to several conditions does NOT change a thing about how we felt for each other. We will love and take care of each silently and from afar. It is just right now – we are not in a place to have a long term commitment. I express this mindset to several people, some agrees, some strongly disagrees thinking that by having this mindset – it means that I am not moving on with my life. What I am saying is that sometimes love itself isn’t enough to keep a relationship going, which on my case is true. But it doesn’t change the fact that its was love, is love and probably in the future will always be love.

    I would appreciate your opinion – Anita. Thank you very much.

    -Mina

    July 3, 2017 at 6:38 pm in reply to: Self destructive behaviour after a break up? #156252
    Mina
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Your reply truly have change my perspective.

    You mentioned “Maybe looking deeper into the nature of emotional attachment to another person will help you” can you elaborate more on this thing? If it is the loss of emotional attachment, how can I let go and most importantly how do I get back up again? I appreciate your response very much.  Thank you.

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