Thank you Alma. It took all of my strength to cut all contact with this woman but I think the pain was just too much and my instinct to self-preserve kicked in. I am still looking for answers though!

Ok just a quick update on what has happened since my original post.

I am still married. I still have feelings for this woman but they have somewhat subsided. They are still there however. I still think about her everyday. I haven’t seen her for about 5 weeks which I think helped a lot. I decided to end all electronic communication with her. Because I am friends with her on Facebook I had to ‘unfollow’ her and block her from seeing any of my updates. I am still ‘friends’ on Facebook so as to not arise suspicion that something is up. This channel is now silent so hopefully this give me some peace and some space. It was a very difficult decision. What triggered it was her post about how she is trying to find a guy, a boyfriend if you like. I could not bear to read about this sort of stuff from her. It would only make matters worse. I made up a story in my mind that we have ‘virtually’ said goodbye to each other. I anonymously posted on her page how I wished her luck in her quest and ended with the words ‘goodbye’. When I typed ‘goodbye’ I meant it. In my mind at least it’s for good.

I’d love to be at least friends with her in real life but my feelings are just too strong. She has many friends already I would just be a tiny blimp on her radar anyway.

Thank you everyone once again.

Hi Marilyn. “Your longing for her, seems to be a longing to know yourself” Wow, that’s deep. I am not sure I fully grasp this statement but it does seem to resonate with me because I do want to learn about myself more. I am really into yoga and sports which let me spend a lot of time with myself and contemplate what arises in my mind. I haven’t grasped what has happened to me as yet. Your insight might nudge me in the right direction though. Thank you for that.