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Sofia

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • June 1, 2018 at 7:11 pm #210411
    Sofia
    Participant

    Anita and Jenny,

    Thank you for your posts again and sorry for the late response.
    I feel like you are terribly right like all my friends say – that I should let go and that I will find somebody else. I usually respond with “don’t get me wrong, I know I will, I just truly believe we had a meaningful and deep connection that is rare and that our break up was just unfortunate and unfair for both of us”.

    In one hand, I really hope I can keep him ‘in my life’, either as a friend or maybe more but, in another hand, I know that if I see him, all the work I’ve been putting on to be happy by myself and ‘forgetting’ him, all of that will just vanish.

    You both said “if you choose to contact him, ask how he’s feeling and how he’s doing” and “if you can not, try to contact him as an old friend”. Those are exactly my intentions, nothing more then that (at least if he doesn’t show any love for me) but that made me confused to whether or not I should contact him: only because I feel like now I have a window open to contact him, something I didn’t before.

    However, I do intend to try and keep the distance, hoping he will reach out to me but not focusing on that, focusing on myself and my happiness. It’s just hard to see your loved one growing up so separate from you…

    I also feel like this isn’t a ‘big problem’ because it seems so obvious that I should (already) have to let him go, but that’s why it’s being so hard for me after 7 months because I feel like we have a unique bond.

     

    Thank you for your help!!

    S

    May 25, 2018 at 4:06 pm #209423
    Sofia
    Participant

    Thank you all for your advices!

    Just to clarify to you, anite, yes, he is a very logical young person. he is very emotional too but he is ruled by logic, that’s mainly why i say he might still hold loving feelings for me, because he hides his emotions often when that is something that causes suffering and also because it was very hard for him to leave the relantionship, he didn’t want to etc.

    but you are probably true in the fact that i should’ntmake assumptions.

    i’ll be here and if he wants to contact me, then so be it, if not, well, i’ll coninue my life 🙂

    May 24, 2018 at 1:40 pm #209259
    Sofia
    Participant

    malh,

     

    I think it is very important to have a deep conversation with your boyfriend. remember that a healthy relationship is based on trust and communication, maybe remind him of that too.

    ask yourself this questions: why are you with each other?, why do you love him/he loves you?, do you really want a relationship that is based on lies and games?

    be truthful to each other and remind yourselves that love is much more than profile pictures, laziness or problems. love is wanting to be with someone to share your opinions, views, to create a future together, have good times, understand what’s important to one another and constantly communicate and trust.

    you both have to find peace in yourselves so you can solve your problems.

    maybe he is falling out of love, maybe not. maybe you are too?

    if any of you are, it’s important to remember it is okay. love yourself first, only then you can love someone else.

    remember why you love each other, remember yourselves it is important to talk and to trust

    hope everything goes well

     

    much love,

    S

    May 24, 2018 at 1:30 pm #209255
    Sofia
    Participant

    pathfinder,

    I have to agree with Anita.

    even I was in a long distance relationship and my I was going through some personal issues and my partner as well. we’ve gone our separate ways now and I must admit it wasn’t easy, it was very painful, for the both of us but it was necessary and i couldn’t be more thankful to him. he made me the person i am today! and i hope, someday, we can be together again to celebrate old times but for now, it’s important to stay separate, find our own paths, live a little with our own selves.

    you must heal yourself, work on your issues and problems, complete yourself so you can find happiness and he must do that as well. during that proccess, i’m sure you’ll find someone who will love you very much and you will be whorthy of your love.

    I believe you should open your heart to other people, it might bring a lot of happiness to you and you may find someone incredible.

    maybe stay friends with your ex, after a while, I’m sure he could use some help. but I do believe he made the right choice for both of you.

    don’t lose hope, you’ll find the world has amazing people around you!

     

    much love,

    S

    May 24, 2018 at 1:20 pm #209253
    Sofia
    Participant

    harmilap,

    one thing that I’ve learned is that a healthy relationship can not be made by 1 person.
    it’s not a pleasant thing to hear but it is true.
    if you love her, you’d be happy for her happiness and if her happiness is being with whom she is now, the best you can do is support her, be her friend and be there for her.

    maybe, one day, she’ll have another opinion, other goals in life, whatever it might be and in those might be her love for you but, for now, live in the present, be comfortable and happy with yourself and be her friend.

    remember that a healthy relationship is made with 2 complete persons, complete yourself first and let life proceed naturally.

    much love,

    S

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