Oh no, no, no. I dated “the benefit of the doubt”. That is, I already knew his reputation. I thought he had changed because he seemed so sincere. Leopards don’t lose their spots in the wash.

The brain is a powerful tool. It can take you places you want to go, and don’t want to go. It can play games with you, just as he is doing. The cycle will continue as long as you let it. Me, I got my things and got out. I’m only on Day 2 post-breakup, but already I feel so much better. I am not looking back; the calendar has so many more days ahead. Time is a great healer.

The next time you are considering getting back with him, I would encourage you to come back here and re-read your original post as if it were written by someone else. What advice would you offer to the poster?

I continue to wish you the best of luck.

No, you are neither crazy nor abusive. I am somewhat in a similar situation. My now-ex would tell me I was bipolar, he would ask which personality he is talking to. The list of things I could and could not do, bordered on ridiculous. When I confronted him and said he was abusive, he too claimed that I was the abusive one. As you have already written, mind control is a powerful tool. There were days when I felt smaller than small, when I questioned my own sanity…and I possess an undergraduate degree in Psychology, at that.

Abuse takes many forms. There doesn’t have to be physical contact for it to be considered as such.

I am so sorry you are going through this right now, same as I presently am.

The best of luck and stay strong!

Wilma