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  • June 20, 2017 at 11:09 am #154266
    Smile
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    I finally did it but it had a twist. Coincidentally she was the one to raise the topic about our relationship no longer seem the same that we have lost the spark so i picked it up from there

    I told her i no longer feel the love that much and i dont want to hurt her. i want her to be happy i may not be able to love and care for her as i want to. So we should let go of ourselves and move on so we can grow independently and become better people, i thought she will understand but NO she told me to give it a try that if i want to feel the love back i can. She pleaded with me to try and i should not give up on our relationship… i was surprise sincerely by her response. I told i was scared of hurting her but she read alot of meaning to statement i was scared.. she thought maybe i am scared that maybe she will hurt my feelings again, or maybe because she is a single mother and so on or maybe i have not really forgiven her but i told it is none of those but i just dont feel the love again like before.. she said i should try and dont give up on the relationship.

    Deep down inside of me i feel like leaving for the following reasons

    1. I dont feel the love again like before

    2. I want to some space (we have been through some rough roads in the relationship)

    3. I need to spend time with myself to rediscover my purpose in life.. i lost myself in the relationship

    I dont know if i should keep dating her but i know i wont be fully into it…. and that is what i am avoiding i dont want to hurt but she does not understand..

    June 20, 2017 at 10:07 am #154246
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    @Eliana just said it all.
    This was what killed my first relationship, i was the source of her joy , i was her world and everything. i never liked it. I wanted someone to share my happiness with not someone to suck my joy…Men want a strong lady, independent with goals and dreams , a girl who is happy on her own with him. When they come together it is to share happiness not to sip happiness.

    Here is my advice for you.  Try to be yourself again, try to get busy, to do things, hang out on your own, start a course maybe educational or something… just love yourself first, spend time with yourself and he will appreciate you.

    This relationship might not work but your next will definitely be better following this steps…

    June 19, 2017 at 4:13 am #153914
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    Participant

    Thanks alot.. Will do exactly…

    June 18, 2017 at 12:50 pm #153858
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    Participant

    Hi Friends

    I am planning on telling her tomorrow.

    I dont think i can stand her cry, she will so much cry, and that tears will cripple me emotionally, i am thinking of sending her a voice note. It is the best i can think of now.

    June 13, 2017 at 12:50 am #152898
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    Participant

    A big thank you to everyone…. for the words of support i appreciate it alot…. @Eliana… that why i want to do this i want her to grow, to learn and be self dependent, love herself.. Thank you to everyone…

    June 1, 2017 at 2:21 am #151500
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    Participant

    i can see you are a very emotional…

    There is a possibility he was shocked by what you said, maybe he was not expecting it..

    What i want you to do is this – Try to be calm, dont bug him about the issue, keep talking to him in a normal way.

    He will definitely reach out to you.

    Note: You are not a bad person. (going by your story)

    You can add more details if you wish..

    May 29, 2017 at 2:22 pm #151148
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    Participant

    @Ann Marie’s advice is wonderful.

    Know thy self… it is the key… work on yourself, build your confidence level.

    You might have spoilt the show with your anxiety , she lost attraction for you. Ladies are naturally attracted to confident guys.

    But not your loss though, it is her loss…. develop your self and you will meet someone better.

    May 29, 2017 at 2:03 pm #151142
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    Participant

    Hello Pearl

    Going by what you have written, you are being truthful to yourself which is something i admire alot

    I will advice you tell him now so you dont dash his hope, that can be hurtful. Tell him and give him reasons, you can suggest you guys stay as friends for the now then maybe later go a little bit further.

    #YoudeserveabetterLife

    May 29, 2017 at 12:40 pm #151130
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    Participant

    Dear Bradley

    You seem and sound like a guy with a strong conscience which is why you are feeling this way… it is a good attribute by the way.

    I will advice you to try and apologize to her, send a mail, a letter or an sms. Just apologize and give her some space to cool off. Dont pressurize her, just give her some space.

    May 18, 2017 at 3:07 am #149811
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    I think you are letting anxiety and emotions rule your decision making process.

    Why dont you let the relationship grow. Let is grow. Give it time.

    I think you are rushing things.

    May 18, 2017 at 2:13 am #149807
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    Participant

    I feel your pain and worries.

    Most time people dont know what they have till its gone. I dont think he appreciates you. Yes he loves, he just dont want to be commited yet to the marriage he still needs that freedom.

    I dont encourage divorce at all. i encourage making it work.

    Hold on a little bit he will reach out to you, i advice you both see a marriage counsellor.

    May 18, 2017 at 1:49 am #149805
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    Participant

    @A.J i cant thank you enough… for the guidance through this problem.

    I have told her to give it to a friend of ours.  I spoke to her through my sister. ( i hope it looks and sound matured)

     

     

     

    May 17, 2017 at 1:54 pm #149757
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    Participant

    Thanks @A.J she just chatted my sister now that she wants to talk to me, she has been trying my number but it has not being going through and so on ( i blocked her though). That she wants to give me my property and so on

    But i dont want to talk to her. if i talk to her it might open some wounds i dont want drama in my life again. I have told her to give the property to an acquintance of us but she wants me to come collect it myself.

    You are very correct she will want to engage me in some conversation which might send me back to zero level emotionally i know that for sure.

    Should i talk to her ?

    Or should i insist she gives it to our friend. Which the both of us know.

     

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Smile.
    • This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Smile.
    May 17, 2017 at 3:12 am #149709
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    Participant

    He was honest to you

    He doesnt being around her

    That shows he doesnt want to have anything with her

    Just try and turn a blind eye to everything happening because nothing wrong is really happening.

    Your relationship will suffer if you continue to worry for nothing

    May 17, 2017 at 2:42 am #149707
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    Participant

    @A.J thanks so much i understand better


    @Anita     thanks so much.

    My property is still at her place… Whats the best matured way to get it back.

    I am thinking about just forgetting the property and move on. It is quite expensive though.

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