Hi Anita,

Thank you for your message.  Let me answer the questions first:

We are together for 6 months now. We spend plenty of time together since we started dating, let’s say 5 days a week.

They divorced 6 years ago and it’s very much final.  His daughter is 15 years old and his son is 9 years old. They share custody and his kids are supposed to spend 50% of time at his place,  but they don’t. When they decided to divorce he moved out, his ex wife stayed in their house for 5 years (he was paying for it) and was supposed to find a job and figure her life out. That didn’t happen. Last May he involved lawyers to get her out of the house and execute the deal they signed. That affected the kids because she said that dad is kicking them out. Now she requests more money than they agreed and case is in court. To be able to pay that amount he will have to sell the house and we talked about buying new place together. One more thing to deal with…

We talked a lot about his marriage and what is in his eyes the reason the relationship didn’t work out. I’m trying to help him make the relationship with her better because I think this would benefit us all. She struggles with depression but refuses to seek help or see therapist even he offered to pay for it (she is unemployed since the daughter was born and doesn’t want to work so her financial situation is bad).

As far as his relationship with the kids… I personally think he is a present father and he really cares. I sometimes see he could maybe do things differently and I encourage him to do so and he always says he appreciates my advice. Just recently he also started to see a therapist to better understand his son’s anxiety issues.

I don’t have a feeling that he is hiding anything in regard to his relationship with his ex or the kids. From the very beginning he was very honest with me about it.

Sometimes I just feel like I’m so lost in trying to help him that I may do things that are not the best for ME. Our lives evolve around his kids and their issues. We wanted to do the reversal in spring but now we need to fix the house to sell it. That will cost a lot and I don’t know if we will have enough money for the reversal. I just feel his life is such a rollercoaster that it’s overwhelming at times. And I feel like my role is to support him and be understanding. I just sometimes fear that it will never be normal. That as soon as we solve one problem,  something new will happen….