The purpose of life is to make your own. That means the possibilities are endless. 🙂

Beth,

I am deeply sorry for your loss. Though you may not have been there as much for the last 4 years of his life, know that he still led a better life than if you were never to have adopted him. Feel some ease at this distinction.

Also, dogs are one of the few animals who love us more than they love themselves. Know that your dog would want you to be happy right now. He would not want you to grieve nor want to see you sad therefore honor his death by living as he would want you to. It’s all he would ever want. So forgive yourself because he’s already forgiven you. 🙂 You’ll see each other again eventually. Until then, live a life he’d be proud of.

You must learn to draw the positives from the negatives. Understand that all of your mistakes happened because they were supposed to. They were meant for you to learn from to help you become a better person so you can establish a better life for yourself. Besides, if you never made mistakes, how could you ever learn? Did Einstein prove all his theories by being correct each and every time? Did Steve Jobs get his company to where it is now by not making any mistakes? Did the Wrights Brothers succeed in engineering an airplane on their very first try? 🙂 You see, we are meant to fail. However, we become better with each failure. An automobile today is better than it was 50 years ago. Same with an airplane, our livelihoods, buildings, science, technology, etc….we progress through failures. Even humanity is better today than it was 100 years ago. It’s progress is slower because it is something of major scale, however, we are more understanding than we were of each others a mere 50 years ago. We are more tolerant, more accepting, more integrated, more open and more loving.

You, too, must do the same. You must progress through your failures. They’re essential. Without them, you would develop no personality, no traits, no dreams, no goals, no beliefs, no philosophies. You would be a mere blank. Don’t be one. Create something of yourself worth reliving when you are old. Thank all the mistakes you’ve made and the ones you are going to as they’re inescapable. Take them as they come and recognize the lesson in each of them. Do so each time and you’ll enrich your life. I promise.

Al

In general, we don’t rush important things, correct? Something that is life altering like this should make you want to take your time, no? Rushing may lead to things that may not have revealed themselves yet and that you may not enjoy. Also, I don’t believe his reasons to want to go slow are unwarranted. Please put yourself in his position. If you had been hurt in (a) past relationship(s), would you want to rush back into one or also not want to be guarded?

For now, I suggest you not worry about the future. Doing so will only distract your mind and conjure unhealthy thoughts when you’re spending time with him. If you are meant to be, everything that is supposed to happen will happen. If not, do not worry as no experience is ever a loss. There is always something to be gained from them. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on things that you’ve no control over, simply enjoy what you’ve been given. It’s rare enough to have been allowed such a spiritual experience, don’t waste it! 🙂

Al

I am going to generalize in my answer so please forgive me if it isn’t overly specific to your situation.

Chaos is a necessary component in our lives. It is there for us to learn from if we open our minds to it. I accept it and understand that it must exist however I wouldn’t mind if all chaos were kept ‘small’ to reduce the suffering imbued on us. With that said, do your best to learn from what you’ve experienced. Anything gained from chaos will only help you on your path to its counterpart: order. Analyze the actions you took, recognize the ones you believed were ‘destructive’ so that you may avoid repeating them in the future. With that said, come to the understanding that this event happened to help you become better.

This is all the poor advice I have to offer. Good luck.

My dear Hannah,

You are trying to abide by society’s standards. Don’t. Abide by your happiness first and always (while trying your best to remain considerate of others, of course). You, like the sheer majority of us, have been led to believe to be instantly capable as soon as you became an adult. A misplaced discipline, unfortunately. Truth is no one really knows what they’re doing, they are only ever trying. However, if we remain determined, some of us find something meaningful to live up to AND for. You must do the same. Once you do, your drive to obtain your goal will eradicate all the fears within you. I’m sure, however, that you need will need more detail.

In overcoming your fears: along with the above-mentioned, you must learn to see and feel your very being in others, that they, too, are suffering beings doing the best that they know and can in this existence to obtain happiness. That they share the same fear and hope and want and need and courage and weakness and strength and everything else that you have inside you. You are all one and the same.

In finding a goal/dream: unless you open your mind and attempt new things, you may never find something worth living for. You must have the will to want and to do so. And, if what you find is important enough then you will make no excuses to chase after it. But where do you begin? You begin with what I often post to others: by experimenting. How will you know if you like acting unless you try it? Or eating artichokes? Or traveling overseas? Or watching live plays? Or knitting? Or roasted sesame ice cream? Etc…so continue to discover (at a comfortable pace to you, of course) until you find something worthy to dedicate your life to. Afterwards, everything will fall into place.

In being at peace of mind: accept that you do not know all the answers and never will and shouldn’t know it all in the first place. It is much more fun to discover things you never knew anyway, don’t you think? Understand that you must live for yourself, and not others, and you will come to find that by doing so you will have lived for them as well when you do. Take it slow, do not rush, do not feel rushed and do not let yourself be rushed. Life is not meant to live in chaos but in harmony. However, this is something that YOU decide. Mindfully analyze every event that arises in your life before making a decision and be at ease if you do not immediately find solutions for them. The answers will come when they’re meant to so don’t over worry over it. Do your best to recognize ‘happy’ moments and pause to bask in them when they present themselves. Train yourself to recognize all the beauty around you. Doing so will help in garnering positivity. Likewise, do your best to entertain positive thoughts as often as you can. See the positive in any situation.

Finally, I’ll leave you with this quote, “If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship traveling through the universe.” 🙂 I hope this helps. Good luck.

I agree with Matt. Find yourself a quiet, beautiful and peaceful place to release all the negative energy. Do your best to empty your mind and start over. Prioritize what first needs to absolutely get done. School first, correct? Health can usually wait during the college years (just try to minimize the damage as best you can) 🙂 and you can always tell the boyfriend that you need to concentrate on your exams and to therefore please be patient until they’ve come and gone, no? As far as smarts go, well, you’ve gotten this far, haven’t you? 🙂 If you need belief then just look to your dreams and goals. Believe with absolute certainty that you’ll make them come true and you’ll find the drive to get back your focus.

You can do it!

Al

It sounds to me like you’re in need to find alternate housing. Perhaps you can post ‘looking for a roommate’ on a housing website in your area and continue to practice your patience with what Matt suggested while awaiting an answer. I’d like to add more but I believe this suffices.