Constant motivation should already come from the conviction of your faith, don’t you think? 🙂 And allowing others to cause a disruption in your faith could be seen as your beliefs not being strong enough, no? Therefore do not allow the words of others who have no understanding of your faith affect your peace of mind. You faith is for you and you alone. Those who judge you and your faith have their own journeys to attend to. Nevertheless, I say for you to keep a compassionate heart because no matter what our beliefs are in the end we are all trying to reach the same goal of being at peace with ourselves. In this sense we are ‘attached’; or united. Two people of different faiths may meet and become best of friends and yet reach the same goal. Do your best to see your family (and everyone else for that matter) in this manner and you will find that all of humanity is connected.

Namaste to you. 😉

• This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by Al.

Alicia,

I will tell you what I told another member: would you prefer your life to be filled more with order or chaos? 😉

• This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by Al.

Bibles explain that with light must come darkness, Buddhism instructs living through The Middle Way, Taoism heavily emphasizes the significance of Yin and Yang and even science proves that protons must have an electron for an atom to be balanced. You must learn that we need ‘negativity’ in order to find harmony else how would we ever progress if we have nothing to learn from?

You’ve had a difficulty which is causing you much suffering but find comfort in having recognized it and deciding to take action for it proves that deeply you desire to be a good human being. Find peace and self-forgiveness by using the lesson(s) given from this experience to improve yourself. This is how you make amends and move on. To continue to poorly reflect will not give you what you need nor will it do justice for your past actions. Accept this as a necessary experience to help you become a better person. It’s also necessary to understand that these ‘negative’ experiences will continue. They are an essential part of human life meant to give us the tools we need to obtain peace and happiness.

With that said it does not mean that you should live in anxiety for fear of these experiences to come. In fact, understanding that they are a normal part of life will help ease you and allow you to live happier. Also, as Matt stated, and as something I often say to other members, we are not perfect nor are we meant to be. Who truly knows what they are supposed to do in life? Even the greatest of men made mistakes. However, we labeled them as ‘great’ only because they overcame their challenges. You must learn to do the same. And as far as your ego goes, don’t you believe that this experience has instilled some humility in you? 😉

So please, don’t be too hard on yourself. We are and always will be children of life afterall; constantly learning and improving. We’ll never have all the answers which can be seen as a wonderful thing. Discovery is quite a delight afterall.

Best Regards,
Al

Mistakes are a constant. Whether they are major or minor are irrelevant. We are imperfect beings, prone to live our lives making nothing but mistakes. However, progress requires that we make them. How else would we become better otherwise? You and your husband are proof of imperfection. As are your children, as I am, as a stranger is, as the president and priests and teachers are, etc….In this truth, we are all innocent and will always be. So if you haven’t already, please forgive yourself. You move on also because of the same reason. Accept the fact that you did not and never will have all the answers. Accept that mistakes are acceptable. Also, do your best to see the positive in this. Two of your children are adults and are well away on their own journeys, you have one that has resource of four loving adults to refer to for help, you and your ex-husband have recognized and forgiven eachothers’ mistakes, ending things amicably, and you now both have a chance to pursue a new happiness. 🙂

So please be more cheerful, for you have every reason to. As for goals, chase what you believe will make you happy. If you’re unsure as to what that is, it means you have the great opportunity of exploring and experimenting. Once you find it, the motivation will assuredly appear right alongside it.

Hugs,
Al

Your life is yours to live. No one else’s. You must do what makes you happy, not others. The expectations your parents have for you are issues they will have to deal with, not you. In general, by setting expectations you also set yourself up for disappointment when the expectations are not met therefore your parents set themselves up for disappointment the day they had expectations of you. If anything, they should simply want you to be happy.

I am glad in your assertion of ‘becoming a slave to the monotonous coveted american lifestyle’. Be extremely thankful for having made the recognition. It means that now you can truly live your life. 🙂 I believe that every experience has a role to play in our lives. In each of them is a lesson, or a truth, that is revealed to us but must be recognized which will then help us realize our true path (I apologize if this sounds corny). In your case, it could be said that you were meant to undergo these difficult experiences in order to be reminded of the what held significance and meaning in your life. And, according to what you wrote, it seems you’ve already known it all along and clear that you’ve already made the decision. You just need that little push now.

I say do what makes you happy. As an advocate to pursuing dreams, I will always push anyone to find a passion or if they’ve found it, to pursue it. Also, I have yet to find a counter-argument for doing what you love. 🙂 I believe that’s all there is to be said so here is where I leave you with a great find I stumbled upon years ago. I hope it will give you the motivation needed to begin chasing your dreams as it did for me.

http://www.dannychoo.com/en/post/1645/Tokyo+Photo+Walk+3.html

Best Regards,
Al

Olivia,

You’ve mentioned it yourself. You are both ‘lost souls’. It is highly the case that because you are both still searching for answers it has caused complications in your actions and communications with one another. So please do not feel as if it were all your fault. In relationships, both sides are always at fault when a problem arises. For example, you said she blamed you for pushing her away and yet you made no mention that she recognized your behavior and addressed it with you to try to resolve it. That, then, becomes her fault for not doing so. So find some ease with this. Also, it is probably best that you separated. Now you can concentrate on your own self-improvement so that in the next relationship you can fare better. Do you not believe that it would be better to give your all to someone once you have a better understanding of yourself? 🙂

It is never easy to let go of someone you cared deeply for. However, do not feel upset either at her or at yourself for what transpired. Instead, use the care you have for her to wish her the best only and always. Wish for her to become a great human being, to overcome all the challenges that will come her way and to be happy. However, make sure you do so yourself not only to honor your love for her but also because you want it for yourself. Take the experience you shared and learn from it. You said that you were changing/improving while in the relationship, well, continue to do so. Self-improvement is a never ending task. You will continue to experience difficult situations. The trick is to learn from them so that when such situation arise again they will be more easily dealt with. Become yourself a great human being so that one day you may experience love again and do it right this time.

Keep looking ahead, it’s not over! 🙂
Al

• This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by Al.

We are intended to survive. It is programmed within each of us. It also means that we will do whatever we deem is necessary in order to survive. That means we must adapt to any situation that comes our way. In his case, he survived by cocooning himself. He’s been doing it so long that it has become a habit and, as you well know, habits are difficult to break. Even more so with him since it is a behavioral one.

I have an absolute belief that everyone needs to experience all the difficulties they encounter. However, if I deem it necessary or if it is sought from me then I will do my best to guide these individuals back on a harmonious path. The difficulty lies in how much I should help for everyone’s situation measures differently. I do keep to a rule to try to do as little as possible, however, as I do not want to appear as if I am in control (control being an illusion) but also because ‘over-guiding’ may lead to the manifestation of ego (a destructive nature) resulting in imminent self-chaos.

Perhaps you can try expanding his mind through various self-discovering material. Initiate deeper conversations to stimulate his mind, mention philosophy or religions or anything that may help broaden his perspective(s). If you believe it will not harm him, perhaps even mention that he is someone you care for as a human being and would like to see happy. Mention that he is free to be as open as he would like to be when he converses with you. Do take care of your own mentality in this affair, however. Make sure to not hold yourself responsible should you do not succeed. Be satisfied that you at least tried. Understand that you, too, are imperfect and do not have all the answers. Your own inner peace is just as important. And, as I’ve mentioned, this may be an experience he must undertake for his own growth.

Best of luck to you,
Al