I’m not mature or wise but I’ll give you my best shot if you don’t mind. 😉 I feel you’re plenty wise already. I don’t think I’ll have much to say (crosses fingers). First: yes, everyone goes through a period or periods of difficulty. As proof, name me one person who hasn’t struggled to get where they are today. You can’t. 🙂 You’re already going in a good direction in your pursuit of a career and financial stability. I would say for now continue to focus on that, endure as it’ll help make you a stronger person and believe that it will get better. Without that belief then you’ve already lost. Without belief there is no drive and therefore no effort which will guarantee your troubles to continue.

And that’s all I have to say! Don’t give up, stay strong for yourself and your mother but most importantly stay strong because you want to BE strong! Things always get better when you work hard for it. 😉

Definitely take a step back. In fact, inform all those close to you that you need time to think, and breathe. Do not feel guilt in temporarily leaving them. Your life is just as important as theirs and if you wish to help those around you out of love then you must first take care of yourself.

Here is a link to one of my favorite sites: zenhabits.net. If you scroll down and hover your pointer near the bottom a link to ‘See All Posts’ will appear. Do not neglect anything on that site that may help you. As the title implies, it is a site that will help you find your inner peace. It should provide much needed comfort but only if you practice them.

As I’ve stated in other posts, never look for instant results. This is mistake #1 that many people make. Helping those around you will take time. Your behavior/actions/responses towards are your main factors. Having identified and accepted a destructive nature, however, is a great start. If you wish to make conscientious decisions then you must overcome your ‘enabler’ mentality. Never fear saying no. Also, practice saying it. And when you do, stand your ground. When confronted, ask yourself if saying no will critically harm that person’s life. This should help.

Lastly, I highly suggest learning about Karma. Beyond what is portrayed in mainstream media is a much more detailed and involved account. Do keep in mind that Karma is a constant practice but one who’s worth extends its training.

So please, do give yourself some time. Your own ‘want’ of wanting a better life will give you the strength needed to get through this. Recall it each time you falter and you’ll come out okay. Best of luck to you.

As Mel stated, how you act around your family will affect how they will act towards you. Be too providing to your family and they will become overly dependent of you and further add to your stress but be too neglecting and they will continue their destructive behavior. Handling your family will not be an easy task however it must be done for your sake. Running away will only leave you guilt ridden. A very fine balance will need to be maintained if you wish to succeed. Also, do not expect instant results. This may be a long term endeavor due to the extremity of your situation.

As to how to obtain the strength to carry out this task, well, it’s rather quite simple: use your love for them. 🙂 If you want a happy family you will work hard for it and not give up. Trust me on this, I speak from personal and similar experience. Do not wholly rely on others for strength as well as they will not always be around at all times. Learn to cultivate it from within so you can draw it out at any time. Use what you were told in the other reply posts and you should have no problem. Trust in yourself, you will make it!

Kylie,

I am sorry for your loss. I want you to imagine your little girl at an age where she understands the concept of death. I’m wholly positive that she would want you to continue to live for her and for yourself. I hope this helps.

This may sound insensitive but I hope you’re not confusing your instinctive urges of finding a partner and procreating with what you really want in life. It’s not to say that these two things don’t sometimes combine but your desperation to want children and your statement of ‘wanting kids for as long as you remember’ implies that you only wish to procreate and are acting on your instincts. If you’re fully convinced that there is absolutely no greater cause and no truer passion aside from having a family then I can only suggest a dating site or adoption. And no, that is not meant as a joke.

As far as healing goes, unless you allow yourself to broaden your views and horizons your thoughts will continue to dwell on the matter. I’m sorry if this isn’t much help to you.

Your answer ‘I don’t know’ when you were asked what you want to do in life is already correct. And the notion enforced by our society that we should know what we want to do by the time we graduate from high school is sadly poor guidance. How is anyone supposed to know what they want to do when they’ve experienced so little? *Wink*, exactly. Don’t concern yourself with the expectations of others and society. Your own happiness is what counts as it is what’s at stake. Explore everything and anything you’re curious about. Experience and experiment until you find something dedicating your heart to, which actually brings me to your dreams.

Concerning dreams: do not hesitate. So few of us live our lives having found our passions. To have found it at such a young age is a wonderful thing. Ask yourself what your biggest regret would be if you were old and grey. Think positively, always, rid yourself of doubt and most importantly believe in yourself! If you don’t then your hard work will mean nothing along with your dreams.

In closing, don’t rush, don’t feel rushed, just go about everything in a calm way. Over exciting yourself will only pollute your head. Most importantly, don’t forget to have fun on your path(s) and do smile with both your face and heart. What would the point of chasing your dreams mean if you can’t even enjoy it? 🙂