Hello Tee, thank you for your post. I will read it again when I am back at PC. Sending ☀️

Hello Alessa!

“I was worried about losing you as a friend.”

That wouldn’t happen! 🤗 Don’t worry. I understand. Moreover, a good friend points out a mistake. ❤️

“I don’t think I get things right. I end up accidentally hurting my friends in a misguided attempt to keep the peace.”

I know. I feel the same. Maybe we should stop trying to keep the peace at all cost? By the way, you haven’t hurt me. 😗

Hello Lucidity,

thank you! You are very kind.

You are right.

I should stop trying so hard to make this place safe… to make it what Peter wrote about… to create a culture of respect where people can speak honestly, listen deeply, and stay engaged even when it’s hard. It’s about courage and care, not comfort at all costs.

But for this to work, the majority must believe it and become ready and open to it. Maybe, it’s not the right time yet. 🙂

But I agree with you – it’s my responsibility to deal with my own emotions. And I’m really alone in this. And I should keep it in private, not on a public forum. Maybe I can try to go through it with someone who is willing to be open and ready on email, for example. You are right. ❤️

I am just used to being honest even publicly, but as you said, in the end I “make myself a pariah despite having widespread agreement.” 🙈

Thank you. I will reconsider my approach. 😊

🦋

“Its important to be clear on why I feel my message should be heard by others.” (Lucidity)

I was thinking about this.

Firstly, it’s a problem of our different cultures and I apologize if I am disrespectful or tactless. It is possible that I cannot see that, because I live in a different country and it, of course, influences my thinking. I always thought that it is actually very useful to speak openly about tough topics. There’s an emphasis on being honest and straightforward even if it isn’t “politically correct” in my country… I thought that it is beneficial… but obviously it is considered impolite in the west. (I live in the central Europe)

Secondly, isn’t it simply a human need to be heard?

And finally, isn’t it something family, friends, or people who want to connect with us, do? To hear us… But I am naive. I know. 🙂

🦋

Sometimes something bothers me, but I choose not to bring it up because I know the other party might not understand… then I’m left alone with these feelings that I haven’t been heard… So, I try to change it, open myself, only to find myself that I did the wrong again…

It’s hard to process these feelings. But I guess that I have to accept that I am truly alone with my feelings and it’s my problem what I feel. Because bringing up my feelings to someone who isn’t open and ready is harmful…

So, what is left for me? Find a community who is open and ready, and willing to listen even to me.

🦋

Hello everyone,

I am afraid that the words “triggers”, “trauma”, “anxiety” are overused and missused these days (which is not the problem of this forum). But I’ve seen many videos where people try to avoid responsibility (during contact with the police, for example) and misuse this sensitivity to their advantage.

It’s a terrible shame that this has become a “culture” on social media (instagram, tiktok, …) and it has become a “trend” to have some psychological problems. No one realizes the harm it does to people who are really suffering, because there is a group of people who, thanks to this “trend”, cannot even stand someone saying they have trauma.

We wanted to talk openly about mental health issues, which is important! … But the media has escalated it again to the point where we are slowly but surely reaching a stage where people with real problems will be afraid to talk about it again, because mental issues have been misused so much that it is a “trigger” for a certain group of people… and only because they have been exposed to this “trend” on instagram/tiktok etc. too much…

I think this is a serious problem.

And about this forum…

I have to say that for me… the words that were said in the conflict that took place here in this forum… that people who have a different opinion are “invalidating” and continuing the work of a person who was truly cruel… are really hard.

I know that the moment of trigger can blind us and we say things we really don’t mean. I did it. I came back and apologized, because I felt I crossed the line… It makes the difference: see, understand and acknowledge my own mistake and apologize.

But… to be accused of being the same as an abuser for different opinions… on a public forum… and let it go silent… that can hurt a lot… and it can last long time…

I wish everyone would realize the impact their words have. And everyone would hold responsibility for their own emotions and triggers.

But I am accepting and forgiving. I don’t live in the past. I believe we can start right now and here again. ❤️ I won’t be angry with people for being people – we make mistakes, it’s our nature. So, let’s learn and be more mindful and let’s try not to repeat the same mistakes again together.

Thank you for your thoughts here! It is very helpful.

🦋