Isn’t it interesting that even places have a “soul”? 😊

I was thinking about one novel I read many years ago. It was written by a Native American. It was about a family trauma and each chapter was dedicated to one member of the family and described their unique ways of dealing with the trauma. Each member and each way was very different… and everyone found their peace in the end… by following their own unique way… It was very nice. And it reminds me of the complexity of people and that we should respect each other… even though we don’t understand each other completely, or we don’t even like some ways of healing, we should respect and accept each other. ❤️

I am thinking about love and being a nun/monk. Why is romantic love “prohibited” in formal monasteries? I have watched teachings on romantic love by Hanh and it’s very beautiful. I was wondering why a nun and a monk “shouldn’t” be in love with each other when true love is something so precious, beautiful, and I would even say that very deep and spiritual. 🙂

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Hello Tee,

thank you for your care. ❤️ And don’t worry. I am okay. 🙏 ☺️

Maybe you would grow fond of Thich Nhat Hanh. The concept of inner child is fundamental to his teachings. He very nicely and skillfully combined modern psychology and Buddhism… and the result is a very beautiful, gentle and compassionate form of Buddhism. ❤️ It speaks to my heart.

I am more of a “feeling type” than thinker. I am instinct-oriented and my heart doesn’t feel the calling when the words “facts”, “evidence-based”, “theory” are presented in the healing process… I believe we are more complex as human beings. I do believe there are things, which cannot be measured by science, and they have an effect on us and our ability to heal. 

I believe people differ a lot. Not everyone who had a hard childhood needs automatically healing in adulthood. While one person might develop a trauma because of the experience, the other person doesn’t. People are not that simple, people are not black and white. We are very complex. 😊

❤️

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Hello Alessa,

I’m doing fine. Resting. 😊 What about you?

You can write about the struggles with managing your needs vs others, if you want. I believe it could bring an interesting discussion. 😊

Hello Tee,

it is fine. I am accepting and forgiving. I have never blamed anyone for my troubles (I used to have strong social phobia since very early childhood until 25… I’m 36 today) or for what happened to me.

The way I see and feel it is that we all – me, my parents, my siblings, other children, … – were at certain time, at certain place and we all did what our then understanding allowed us to do… I am not angry with anyone who happened to be a part of my suffering. I know they all are completely different people today. I know they might even regret what they did to me and feel shame or sadness. My parents are regular people with some mistakes, like all people. They both expressed regrets that they would have done things differently if they could go back… My mom was so unhappy thinking what a horrible mother she had to be 😔… which isn’t true! ❤️ I love them and I know they love us (we are 4 children) and they are much more open to show affection to us today than ever before. 😊 Life runs and people change and realize a lot on the way…

When I had bad feelings about my past a few days ago… these are just echoes of my suffering… so I don’t forget what it was like… and it doesn’t happen because I should be afraid of the past or worried about future, but to realize how happy I am today. In these rare moments with a pause and enough time for resting, I always realize this – I suffered a lot, but I am so happy today. 🙏❤️ I am lucky that the worst is just a memory… a blurred memory.

I can feel that childhood is your topic. If you want to share more from your experience, you can. 😊

You can even debate without me – I will be more offline, taking care of myself. ❤️

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So, yes, detachment with compassion and forgiveness. ❤️

Hello Tee, Alessa and everyone,

it is okay to feel anger when there is mistreatment, but it is not okay to turn our anger into a lifestyle.

HOW TO DEFUSE A BOMB
When you contain too much violence and anger within yourself, you become so tense that you are like a bomb about to go off. You suffer very much, and your suffering spills out all over the people you live or work with. People become afraid of you, they don’t want to approach you. So you believe that everyone is boycotting you. You become extremely lonely. When we suffer, we have the tendency to blame other people and to see them as the source of our suffering. We don’t recognize that we are responsible to some extent for our suffering as well as for making those around us suffer. We don’t see that while others may want to help us, we have become like a bomb, ready to explode. Or perhaps you know someone like that, and although you would like to reach out to them, you feel they might explode at any moment so you keep your distance. You have to train yourself first to become skillful. Practice mindful breathing, mindful walking, embracing your own suffering, and using loving speech. Then, you can approach the other person with your solid presence and your mindful speech. This can be very healing for both people. With deep listening and loving speech, you may be able to restore communication.

I know from my experience – both online and in real life – that it is very difficult, almost impossible, to communicate peacefully with these angry and resentful people. It is always possible for a while, but then they return to their old selves, a ticking bomb…some people will not take their full responsibility for becoming a healthy person… and my compassion is not a bottomless well… ❤️

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Hello Anita, I am talking to everyone on this forum, including If you need to ask or process something very sensitive, you can write to me silvery8blue@gmail.com

It is invitation for anyone who wants to speak to me.

I don’t want to put anyone under more stress in public. People here deserve peace, compassion and respect.

I do believe you have a lot of controlling habits, but I feel that you are not still open and ready to accept it. And thus I will not discuss it publicly with respect to others, because it could create more stress to all members here and it is not fair to them.

You can write to me on my email.

With all respect and compassion, Anita. 🙏

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