Hello , I understand the tough situation here, I have had something similar but it was only a one time thing I gave it up for my lover, it was very wrong of me and I repent everyday that was like 2 or so years ago.. I know that I had to make a choice live like this in a shameful way or I had to completely change my ways. Now the first and foremost question is that are you really ready to spend your lifetime with your wife even though clearly another woman has your attention? To me that isn’t fair to the wife. Now I respect that you have come to a final decision. For me thinking about the person I was with only made things harder. If you really chose your wife you should learn to control your thoughts and urges. We all as humans have this battle. It’s about willpower and deciding what you need in the long run. My complete suggestion is to get rid of anything that reminds you of this woman, in that even don’t revisit places unless you can control your mind. Prayer won’t help unless you are 100% ready to let go of this person and the relationship you’ve had. All I see an issue with is dragging your wife along when your heart and mind have been elsewhere. I wish you the best of luck and you and your family deserve pure love without regret or any negative barriers. Have a beautiful day and fill your heart with love, you’ll pull through.