Everyday is a struggle for me i been trying so hard this past year to remain strong, i am about to enter the united states navy and with how i grew up and even now i learned to let everything go in the past, but the past year has been so hard because i lost the person i truly loved so much and she went back to the guy who she was with for years who has done nothing for her, and she is very naive but with a good heart and i used to be so naive and i relate so much on what we both grew up with. He is now going in the navy out of nowhere and i feel like i totally lost her, i feel like she is going to be getting into something that will eventually destroy her, and i care so much but watching everything that has happened and me trying to protect her hurts me so much every day, i know i am supposed to be happy because i just now found great friends that look out for me and my mother and i recently just started getting along great, but everything doesn’t feel right without her by my side, and i know i am not supposed to worry about her and focus on me but how can i? like she is everything i looked for and everything i found in her is something that hits so deep more then anyone i ever thought i truly loved, i keep getting told that eventually we may get back together later down the road, but the weight ways on me so much everyday because everytime i try and find someone else i feel nothing at all, except her i can relate on everything and feel so connected with her, i feel like slowly i am losing energy on everything, i believe in god but i always worry so much about if she is going to get as hurt as i’ve ever been for so long growing up. I don’t know how to feel anymore i just know how to be so strong because i try and be there for everyone so hard, and it’s hard for me to talk about how i feel with anyone and i mean truly how i feel.. I feel like i lost her if they get married but for some reason i feel like down the road whatever is going to happen to the both of us will be very good, but it’s so hard being patient, but everything i will endure in the military will teach me so much more so i can be even stronger. I know i will be told to let her go and move on and blah blah but everytime we got close it felt so right, but then it would go away over something so stupid, i always felt like it’s not meant to be now, but for someone i would go to the ends of the earth for but she is in love with this guy, and yet he is very immature, a coward, and a negative influence on her, and i don’t mean to bash him but everytime i tried to be his friend because it would mean a lot to her, he would show me why it wouldn’t be a good guy by how he acts and his actions, and i just find it weird that he wants to join the military thinking he can take care of her when he can barely hold himself together, idk i just get this negative strong vibe off of him every time i was around the guy.. But i care so much about her i would hold my tongue back and then i would be straight up honest with her and she would take it as an insult, i just don’t get it but i understand cause i used to be that way..