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July 20, 2018 at 8:51 am #217875SaraParticipant
I never thought it did…I have come across other paraplegics in my life and i haven’t felt an attraction. Its him, i think there is something about him that i just like even when he is being his worst self. Which is what scares me, i have never been one to stay in a situation where i have felt that i was being taken advantage of or where I felt I wasn’t wanted. And yet with this guy i keep going back.
July 20, 2018 at 8:31 am #217855SaraParticipantHi Anita,
Yes, I think i know the time has come to end this arrangement. The devil i know vs the devil i don’t is more to do with me having to put myself out there again and to sift through the various options and to figure out the right path for me. I sometimes feel like I have invested this time and energy and we have our issues but we seem to somewhat work so do I really want to venture into the unknown. But clearly, this is not working out at this point so I know it is time to take that leap of faith.
July 20, 2018 at 8:06 am #217845SaraParticipantHello Anita,
That is correct, I still don’t want a relationship in the traditional sense. But I also don’t want to a relationship (even a purely physical one) that is not a two way street. Its not that I don’t like him, there is something about this guy that I am drawn to, perhaps its the status quo, maybe I figure better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. I am not sure, but lately, our interactions have gotten very difficult. There is always an argument before we decide to meet, but according to him its always me being dramatic. I don’t care about his disability or his limitations i just want an open conversation which he can’t seem to provide. I understand the nature of our relationship is purely physical but I often get the sense that he can barely stand me, he almost looks bored when with me, barely touches me or plays with me so I am not sure what he wants.
July 20, 2018 at 7:47 am #217837SaraParticipantHello Prash,
I think its two things, 1) I do sense an energy about him that i am intrigued enough to want to keep figuring out. But this is just a dumb thought as he has proven time and time again that he only cares about himself and his needs. 2) I guess I also feel stupid because i feel like if he gets vindictive he has sensitive material on me that he can use against me. But that is the height of emotional manipulation; i have to break free and deal with any fallout that results from my past decisions.
Thank you for taking the time to lend me your virtual support.
July 20, 2018 at 7:46 am #217835SaraParticipantI think its just people…it doesn’t matter if you are a paraplegic or not. Some people are just jerks, some may become jerks due to their own experiences but its just people. I am going to cut this off. I think its time. I think its two things, 1) I do sense an energy about him that i am intrigued enough to want to keep figuring out. But this is just a dumb thought as he has proven time and time again that he only cares about himself and his needs. 2) I guess I also feel stupid because i feel like if he gets vindictive he has sensitive material on me that he can use against me. But that is the height of emotional manipulation; i have to break free and deal with any fallout that results from my past decisions.
Thank you for taking the time to lend me your virtual support.
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