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Sara

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • #217875
    Sara
    Participant

    I never thought it did…I have come across other paraplegics in my life and i haven’t felt an attraction. Its him, i think there is something about him that i just like even when he is being his worst self. Which is what scares me, i have never been one to stay in a situation where i have felt that i was being taken advantage of or where I felt I wasn’t wanted. And yet with this guy i keep going back.

    #217855
    Sara
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Yes, I think i know the time has come to end this arrangement. The devil i know vs the devil i don’t is more to do with me having to put myself out there again and to sift through the various options and to figure out the right path for me. I sometimes feel like I have invested this time and energy and we have our issues but we seem to somewhat work so do I really want to venture into the unknown. But clearly, this is not working out at this point so I know it is time to take that leap of faith.

    #217845
    Sara
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    That is correct, I still don’t want a relationship in the traditional sense. But I also don’t want to a relationship (even a purely physical one) that is not a two way street. Its not that I don’t like him, there is something about this guy that I am drawn to, perhaps its the status quo, maybe I figure better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. I am not sure, but lately, our interactions have gotten very difficult. There is always an argument before we decide to meet, but according to him its always me being dramatic. I don’t care about his disability or his limitations i just want an open conversation which he can’t seem to provide. I understand the nature of our relationship is purely physical but I often get the sense that he can barely stand me, he almost looks bored when with me, barely touches me or plays with me so I am not sure what he wants.

    #217837
    Sara
    Participant

    Hello Prash,

     

    I think its two things, 1) I do sense an energy about him that i am intrigued enough to want to keep figuring out. But this is just a dumb thought as he has proven time and time again that he only cares about himself and his needs. 2) I guess I also feel stupid because i feel like if he gets vindictive he has sensitive material on me that he can use against me. But that is the height of emotional manipulation; i have to break free and deal with any fallout that results from my past decisions.

    Thank you for taking the time to lend me your virtual support.

    #217835
    Sara
    Participant

    I think its just people…it doesn’t matter if you are a paraplegic or not. Some people are just jerks, some may become jerks due to their own experiences but its just people. I am going to cut this off. I think its time. I think its two things, 1) I do sense an energy about him that i am intrigued enough to want to keep figuring out. But this is just a dumb thought as he has proven time and time again that he only cares about himself and his needs. 2) I guess I also feel stupid because i feel like if he gets vindictive he has sensitive material on me that he can use against me. But that is the height of emotional manipulation; i have to break free and deal with any fallout that results from my past decisions.

    Thank you for taking the time to lend me your virtual support.

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)