Matt&all,
First of all, thank you very much for detailed replies. Much appreciated.

Matt – Regarding your comment “Consider that some people are like your dad, throwing tantrums and beating up those weaker than themselves when they get unsettled. Bosses, parents, politicians… people in power sometimes dont use their strength well.” – I agree with you and i do know that it has nothing to do with me.

However, my concern is about the reason they pick me over others to vent out their tantrums. Is that because I look too weak or nice? I prefer in guarding myself from those happening to me (in most cases) in the first place (prevention) than altering my feelings/responses to them (curing).

More over, whenever i make any mistakes i create a situation to let others comment about it or don’t hesitate to comment about my behavior directly to me. I do see others who commit bigger mistakes, sometimes deliberately, and I see people,including my boss, don’t even try to raise it with the said trouble makers.

Simple example – Lets say I don’t respond to an email quickly enough for a legitimate reasons and I end up having to give an explanation to my boss about it which he will end with something like “make sure you are on top of these emails next time”. (just an example – am usually very responsive on my emails:)) Fair enough. Now I do see one of my peers who commits this mistake repeatedly and i know people have complained to my boss on it. The guy continues to do it so not sure how my boss’s conversion, if it happened, with him went. Either my boss did not tell him about it or most likely, raised it with him.

May be the guy continues to do it despite being told to do so. Which makes me think am I taking feedback/comments literally and more seriously than I should because I don’t want to make a mistake? Even when my boss sends a note to fill timesheets by a deadline, I am usually the one to do and i see people who continue to slip on it and be OK with it. How does my boss take these lack of corrective actions from these people?

On a separate note, my boss also comments that i take any feedback very seriously and I shouldn’t.

Both the above seem related. Any thoughts?

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by PG.

Thank you all for very informative responses! I will look into the suggestions made and more than anything else, the support i got from you all makes me empowered. I have already started to get myself out of my comfort zone and am planning on having an honest 1-to-1 with my boss tomorrow. There is a slight chance of I getting into a wrong situation but given how much i have been holding on to, i need to do this so I feel liberated. Have always been fearful all my life and I want to break myself out of it.

Once again, thank you all for your support and help!

Regards
PG