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Seaisland

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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 84 total)
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  • December 9, 2015 at 6:50 pm in reply to: The Healing Path #89346
    Seaisland
    Participant

    thank you
    its really kool that you wrote something that triggered a thought of my old poem that I needed to reread

    and then my poem gave you thoughts of your imaginary wings too.

    thanks for the safe warm feeling.

    December 9, 2015 at 3:31 pm in reply to: The Healing Path #89318
    Seaisland
    Participant

    Hope its ok I add something I wrote long long ago. Your forum really hit my familiar pain about my need of home, a safe nonjudgmental place. I am still searching, I find it-lose it-find it again.

    Oh, you sense a greater
    need of freedom from her
    …always wild and free
    if not in actions-
    constantly in spirit.

    But the ones who claim
    to know her best
    overlook a missing necessity
    time and time again.

    Those with imaginary wings
    search for a real home.

    December 9, 2015 at 3:10 pm in reply to: Defining Moments/ Healthy Habits #89316
    Seaisland
    Participant

    thanks for the kind words Anita
    I am back….
    I got really anxious because my therapist got assigned elsewhere(wont go into my health plan)
    I was in a mild panic about seeing someone new-trust issues.

    The military did a mock exercise in a deserted area about 1/4 mile from my house with helicopters, loud ammunition shots late at night.
    I didn’t like the noise. I wasn’t mentally prepared.

    I am grateful for the military. I got shook up for nothing.
    I met my new therapist–it will be fine

    Salisha-thanks–good advice, all kool.

    December 5, 2015 at 8:45 pm in reply to: Defining Moments/ Healthy Habits #88993
    Seaisland
    Participant

    I can ramble. I am an animated person and what I say is often acted out and probably comes across unclear written when I am emotional.
    I try again later–I am fine, had a day that was loud and unsettling. I have post traumatic stress and some things triggered some bad memories today. I was in no danger or confrontation.
    I have settled down now and will leave it until a better time.
    thanks

    December 5, 2015 at 4:05 pm in reply to: Defining Moments/ Healthy Habits #88954
    Seaisland
    Participant

    I had some self destructive habits–but I have always been over sensitive about seeing people hurt each other. I have a sharp tongue and realized I did it myself. I do try to avoid people I cannot trust to be truthful or I cannot truthfully enjoy being around.

    Loyalty is something I do really value, you are right. I have been betrayed on levels that were so painful and public I thought I would die of shame. But I didn’t. There are people I cannot forgive–I have peace from therapy of talking about it…and putting it in a place of closure. On the other hand I forgave debts of Thousands of $ on the condition they left the area and moved at least two states over.
    lol the wrath of a woman.

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by Seaisland.
    December 4, 2015 at 11:29 am in reply to: Do you see your life as a gift? #88873
    Seaisland
    Participant

    thanks Jack
    I guess you and I both were humbled by our walks. I want to learn more about walking meditation. Regardless moving puts me more in touch with getting into a good place than being still. Ever sense I saw the old lady I have been a walker. She was a gift. It was a gift for you to remind me of that low point and how far I have come. I still get down, but I have learned to use many tools to come back quicker.

    Thanks Anita
    I see people who help me as a gift–the encouraging word, the laugh, the example by doing. I see you take so much time to answer some very troubled people–who then turn around and complain to you about the same problem again, when you have already given them advise–that is so emotionally draining when my friends used to do it to me. I don’t know how you do it. A quality I just don’t have. Your patience/wisdom is a gift to them. I think you are a gift. I read Tiny Buddha awhile before I joined and I had an opinion about you in particularly before I joined. You did something with so much grace and courage it was instrumental of me joining. I want strengths I see in others to rub off on me.

    December 3, 2015 at 6:42 pm in reply to: Do you see your life as a gift? #88844
    Seaisland
    Participant

    I see my life as a gift, I see my health as a gift. Some of my family and all of my friends are gifts. Sometimes strangers are gifts.

    there were times I did not think life was worth living and the only thing that kept me going was knowing if I gave up my life-others such as nieces other relatives and friends might take the “easy’ way out because I couldn’t get a toe hold and regain my will to live. Their lives were worth living but I stayed alive just so they “knew that” I know this is crazy talk but this was my reality

    About 15 years ago I was having panic attacks so bad-my doctor had told me to leave my house every day or I would become so reclusive I would be stuck there. I was living in a city and I would walk from my house and could only walk as far down each road that I could still see my house. Forget driving–just walking 6 houses down from mine was totally overwhelming. One day I passed a very old woman who was walking with a walker—she had on a leather helmet so if she fell it wouldn’t crack her head so bad. She was tiny and frail. She was looking at flowers, then stop and look up a tree.

    it was a defining moment in my life–I cannot explain what happen. I cannot tell you that I never feel down or have panic attacks. I can tell you-that in my mind she was an angel and gave me hope. Not because I felt sorry for her–she was living every moment of her life—I wasn’t. She wasn’t looking back to make sure her house was still there and she damn sure couldn’t run home like I could. I kept walking thinking about her and realized I hadn’t looked back to make sure my house was in sight.

    I don’t know if this will make any sense–but I did need to think about it—so thanks for the nudge, Jack.

    December 3, 2015 at 3:31 pm in reply to: Want advice for those who have tattoos #88834
    Seaisland
    Participant

    I loved the Seuss

    any tattoo hurts–some people can handle the pain more than others. I spent 8 years with a tattooist-so I have watched a lot. Truthfully tattooist hate working on people who cannot handle the pain of a small tattoo—because they move around and ruin their art. It hurts their advertising. On the foot or ankle hurts but some people can handle the pain easier. Friend with 25 or so tattoos said the one on his shin hurt the worse.
    Go talk to a tattooist and ask……make sure you find one with empathy.

    December 3, 2015 at 9:59 am in reply to: Want advice for those who have tattoos #88808
    Seaisland
    Participant

    purely from a pain standpoint–not close to a bone, a place that has fat, tissue. Not a place that you are ticklish or jerk when touched. When the tattooist is working if you flinch it can change the integrity of the lines.

    good luck

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by Seaisland.
    December 3, 2015 at 9:45 am in reply to: Want advice for those who have tattoos #88804
    Seaisland
    Participant

    Fair or not I have worked places that will not hire anyone with a tattoo that cannot be covered with a short sleeve shirt.(security job with national company). As a x military wife I remember Marines with lower arm or hand tattoos could not get embassy duty. that was a million years ago. People do judge, not fair–but your tattoo may be the first impression someone has of you-depending on placement. that may be kool, free spirit. That may not be kool—-if you ever have another girlfriend, she will probably hate your x has the same tattoo. Her new boyfriend either. I have been in several “this is the one for the rest of my life” relationships

    that said–I have two tattoos that only would show in a bathing suit with high French cut legs and brazil cut back. I am laughing because nobody would want to see me in that kind of bathing suit now-but I strutted my stuff back then. I do not regret my tattoos because they were private and only showed when I wanted them to. Now when I see my man in the moon tattoo on my butt–I get a chuckle. (wow the moon is so much closer than it used to be–and numerous others.)

    people will always reach and touch your tattoos if u are attractive—no they don’t feel like anything but people touch them anyway. If you get another one think about that.

    what would be truly unique would be for you to have a jewelry designer make you each a necklace that you helped design.

    Blessings

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by Seaisland.
    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by Seaisland.
    December 3, 2015 at 9:18 am in reply to: Fun, fun, fun #88796
    Seaisland
    Participant

    that was sweet and made me feel good and very welcome. its a come as you are party and we all are going to have good and bad moments.

    I can go into a tailspin over some pretty trivial things and obsess about replaying it over and over–how I should have handled it, what I could have said…..then I cant get it out of my mind. Working on it.

    I look forward to getting to know you better– sharing smiles and bad moments too.

    today so far– I smiled because Jack made me laugh, Anita made me feel valued, ate a healthy right proportioned breakfast, and I got lots of stinky dog kisses from my 3 pooches( washed my face afterwards like a grown up would)

    life is good

    December 3, 2015 at 4:45 am in reply to: Fun, fun, fun #88780
    Seaisland
    Participant

    Because I have a Chihuahua right ?

    December 3, 2015 at 4:39 am in reply to: Feeling guilty after cheating #88779
    Seaisland
    Participant

    You are a beautiful soul who will find her way and stumble and fall…get back up and try again. I just don’t want you to put yourself thru more pain in this relationship.
    love and light
    blesseth be

    December 2, 2015 at 9:12 pm in reply to: Fun, fun, fun #88769
    Seaisland
    Participant

    I am a good girl I never say f****.

    Look at the video. My favorite dogs are Boston Terriers. They are like little Charlie Chaplin’s. I have 3 dogs a Boston Terrier, a BUG which is 1/2 Pug and 1/2 Boston, and for some insane reason-a Chihuahua.

    Was it warped to think people were looking at me admiringly when I jumped in the dumpster and pulled out a outdoor chimney. No men tried to help me as I smiled and drug it across the pavement to my truck–I thought because they were impressed by my strength and determination. When I smiled at myself in the dash mirror so pleased, I saw that the raspberry jelly donut I had ate an hour before was smeared from my nose to my chin. I looked like a wild woman who had just eaten raw road kill. tickled the heck out of me.

    December 2, 2015 at 8:46 pm in reply to: Feeling guilty after cheating #88765
    Seaisland
    Participant

    this is going to be harsh. I am sorry but I have to tell you my truth.

    if you had broken up with him when he hit you–would your ego have let it be over– but its different now because you did a “bad” thing.

    Was there ongoing drama constantly in the relationship? I don’t think there is any good reason for you to try to get him back. I have loved someone to the point I thought I would quit breathing–but there was still air. Didn’t die. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t healthy love. I was immature and no matter how many times I tried to throw sparkly pixie dust over the train wreck–we were still a train wreck.
    I don’t think you and he are meant to be. –forget about the soul mate business. I believe you consciously or not were testing your effect on him and other men.
    The man is not going to blossom into a good man who doesn’t hit or say degrading things to you. that ship has sailed.

    Do something healthy and fun(-and that does not mean going out trying to attract another man) forgive yourself, own what you want to change and take a step toward the sun.

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by Seaisland.
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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 84 total)
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