It sounds like you’re someone who needs to have a sense of impending chaos in your life! Given that on some level you enjoy it – you must choose to see this experience as freeing and a challenge for you to throw yourself into the fray of. Ultimately you wound up in this situation because on some level you needed this experience – whatever is going to happen is going to be a lesson or challenge your being needed on some level. You’re a soldier who needs adversity to bring out the best in you. One day once this challenge has passed you’ll find you want to focus on smaller, subtler challenges with a higher resolution of chaos in a smaller way – but not today! Today you’ve got the fight of your life on your hands! X