I lack confidence in my financial future due to my upbringing; my father’s constant insults and humiliation hindered my personal development, affecting my career. I never explored opportunities or left my comfort zone.

On the other hand, I am entirely comfortable with the idea of walking away. I have no emotional attachments whatsoever.

<p style=”text-align: left;”>Yes, I truly desire to leave, but my confidence wavers as I’m now 40, trapped in a stagnant career. I fear that if I break free, financial stability may elude me. Emotionally, I believe I can endure, but my self-esteem has suffered due to my father’s restrictions on my growth and job changes.</p>

At 40 years old, I find myself facing a predicament. To provide some context, my early years were quite ordinary until I reached the age of 10. It was around this time that I came to the realization that my parents never celebrated my birthday, which was in stark contrast to the experiences of other children my age. This revelation had a profound impact on me, and by the age of 9 or 10, I began resorting to theft within my own home and fabricating elaborate stories about myself. Unfortunately, my actions eventually caught up with me, and I was caught in the act. In response, my father resorted to physical punishment and severed all ties with me for the rest of his life. Instead of seeking resolution, he distanced himself from me and adopted a controlling demeanor.

As I grew older and started working, my father assumed control over my finances. He not only prevented me from developing my own personality but also eroded my self-confidence through constant insults and humiliation. When I began earning, he continued to manage my money, providing me with only what I needed for basic expenses while making investment decisions on my behalf.

He also arranged my marriage to a person of his choosing, a union hastily confirmed after just one meeting. Unfortunately, this marriage eventually ended due to dowry demands. After the divorce, he left me feeling worthless, insisting that my life was over. He continued to present me with subpar marriage proposals, expecting me to compromise, all while maintaining a demeaning tone he had used since I was ten years old.

Frustrated with this situation, I became involved with a co-worker, which initially started as a casual relationship but later blossomed into a marriage. However, I faced challenges with conceiving after the wedding. My father, in a rare gesture, offered to pay for in vitro fertilization (IVF), which, despite two attempts, has not been successful.

The controlling behavior and constant belittlement from my father have greatly impacted my self-esteem throughout my life. I am now in need of a fresh perspective and guidance on how to navigate these challenges.

Yes, that can be the case. He was always conflicted. On various occasions within these 2 years I tried to figure out if we have a future and his reply was always negative. Out of the blue he says he will take me to his parents for matrimony. I have faced situations wherein my life crisis was blown out of proportion just because I discussed it with people. So I prefered to keep things to myself. And since I didn’t see a future with him I didn’t reveal my facts either.

Yes, we both are from India. Post revealing my age he has very strongly made up his mind to move on. I did try to reason it out to him why I hid my age. Since he had initially told me, we can’t be together I didn’t bother to tell him my age. Otherwise the relationship was going good.

I did put across this situation before few people to get a perspective and everyone said age shouldn’t have mattered if he really loved me.

Thanks for taking out time for me and analysing my situation and giving me a viewpoint.

If possible can you give me a detailed interpretation of the whole scenario since you will have a neutral view.

Yes, exactly but then I revealed my real age and then he decided to back off.