Hi Anita,

Thank you. I am not sure if I want to start a new thread with my story. I’m moving on and trying to forget everything and trying to think positive these days. But it’s hard sometimes. I always land up trusting the wrong guy. I think I am the problem here. In this one month, I tried downloading networking apps and finding new people to talk to virtually. It’s hard for me just to be friends with them too. I find it hard to trust them.

Sarasa

Hi TeaK,

I am so sorry. I totally missed your previous post. I didn’t mean to not reply to you. I am a little confused how I feel about him. I enjoy talking with him everyday. Now that he is talking to someone else, I feel I miss him already. I have told Anita previously that I will move on. I don’t think there was anything between us. Maybe we are meant to be best friends. Sometimes I feel like we are soulmates, but then all soulmates are not meant to be your life partner. It could be friends or anyone.

Hi Anita,

I did. We both share deep personal stuff with each other. He was like the only person I could trust. Same goes with him too. He even shared his deepest secrets with me.

Sarasa

He was probably lonely and using me to fill the void. I didn’t realize and thought he might have feelings for me because he would call when I don’t reply. He would be there when I am sad and he would just stare at the screen looking at me sometimes. I can tell from his eyes. I guess I was wrong about everything from the beginning. He would text me throughout the day too and all his whereabouts.

Sarasa

Hi Anita,

Here’s an update of what has happened – I know I said I will move on. But things happened a few days back. After I confronted him how he has been hiding stuff from me lately, his anxiety flared up. I couldn’t help myself but to talk to him again. I knew about his anxiety from before. There were times he thought of ending his life. I tried talking to him when his anxiety happened and apologized for what I said to calm him down. I then left him alone for the rest of the evening to give him space as he requested some alone time. He didn’t want to speak to anyone and even asked me to leave him alone, which I did understand. Usually, when he has terrible anxiety, he would ask for space, so it’s nothing new to me. But I took it so personally that day. I tried calling him to find out more details and why he was like that. He wouldn’t pick up but texted me instead to leave him alone. I was worried for sure. However, after a few hours or so, he messaged me to let me know that he is doing fine and will sleep after watching a movie. I guess a part of him cares about me, but I’m not sure.

Anyhow, I followed up with him the next day to make sure he is doing okay. I wanted to make sure he is fine. He called me at night. We hardly spoke, but I stayed on the video call with him for like 2 hours until he went to bed. He was reading while I did my stuff.

I spoke with him today to make sure he is fine as he is still recovering from anxiety. I was on the video call again for more than an hour today until he went to bed. However, I noticed he was on his phone and was online in the messenger most the time even though he was responding to me. He kept his phone away from the screen, so I can’t see him typing or of him holding his phone. I know he is trying to hide from me after confronting him this new girl and how he has started to act differently with me. I even asked him if he has developed any feelings for her, and he said no, but I know they talk all day from first thing in the morning till bedtime. It’s been 1.5 weeks now.

I honestly don’t know what he is up to right now. I am going to leave him for sure. I just want to make sure he is okay before I drop him off.

Sorry for the long message.

Sarasa

Hi Anita,

I’ll get back to you tomorrow. Just need some time alone for a bit.

Thank you

Sarasa

Hi Anita,

Yes, he is still reaching out to me and keeping me updated of what he is doing. I don’t know what to do. He did mention last night that he is avoiding all the deep conversations with the new girl. He says he is trying to avoid questions that will lead to deep conversations when chatting with the new girl. Don’t you find him confusing?

Sarasa

I want to add to my previous message. It is hard for me to cut him off fully as well. We’ve known each other for so long and we are so close. What should I do? Maybe distant myself?

Sarasa

Will do. Thank you so much Anita. I was crying and typing the message earlier.
I feel terrible.

Sarasa