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jayson

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  • in reply to: Need advice: I don't whether to stay or go #68893
    jayson
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    Together but separate certainly doesn’t work
    Unfortunately I know all to well that one person doing all the work …there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have been willing to try. It comeS to the point that you have to be willing to step back… have an affair with yourself!! And find what makes you happy. Yoga and meditation are the best way to go within and truly discover yourself. I was Skeptical of a therapist at first as I had practiced yoga for 18 yrs I knew myself well. My ex dropped out after a few sessions. People sometimes don’t want to confront there pasts! (Usually where the problem is) the therapist was spot on (as I learned from her other ex mother in law). History repeats! I continued to divorce therapy. It went south fast in my situation. I encourage patents! I wish I had such a positive site such as this when I was in the thick of it! I had studied and practiced Tibetan Buddhism (taboo 2 her) I certainly believe that Buddhism and Christianity complement one another! And to find the more spiritual aspects of marriage witch are so easily overlooked in the hustle and bustle. At any rate be present, love yourself, be happy, let him know your there, and let your light shine! People can only be in the dark for so long.
    Wishing you the best

    in reply to: Need advice: I don't whether to stay or go #68792
    jayson
    Participant

    Hello all,
    This situation is similar to mine.Getting stuck in the rut going through life on auto pilot becoming more and more disconnected and dissatisfied with the relationship. She had shut down and moved on (emotional affair (so she said in marriage counseling) communication was nill and I was losing had lost my wife. It started with a 6 month trial separation. I can see how it works if the other person isn’t in an affair! As you never know what you have until it’s gone. She had left me with the kids. at the time they were 8 and 3.I shut my business down and gave them my full attention. I took on a fast that lasted 3 weeks and everything became very clear and vivid. And I faced the fact she wasn’t ever coming back. With a new sense of clarity I was able to go back in time (and I started to see the flags) lessons learned. As a man I think if it’s not broke why fix it? But maintenance is always better then a catastrophe! It’s allowing coming back to the reason your married…love and connecting On many levels! And to start learn and try new things…New language, yoga, tantric retreat, dancing, fishing, camping anything to get out of the norm and brings laughter! I’m sure you’ve had lots of suggestions. It might be hard now but divorce is even harder! it may take him falling down before he can stand up.
    I wish you all the best

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