Hello there. Mr. Stalker here! Tehe.

I’m just amazed to see that your posts are what the regular thought processes that smother my mind every single day of my life. I’m only 19 years old and I’m great at giving out advice, while I fail to help out my own self.

I’m a nice guy as well, and different from my brother, I do not let people take advantage of that trait. It’s not something many guys have. A girl would be lucky to come across someone like you. The one thing I would keep in mind is making sure the girl isn’t there just to use me for who I am. A great quote I came across once:

“People were made to be loved. Things were made to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved, and people are being used.”

Don’t let deception be the leader of your decisions. You wouldn’t want to become a “bad boy” to counteract what wrong an ex girlfriend might have done to you. Yes, bad boys do get lots of girls, but then again, girls never know what they want from a guy. Next thing you know, the girl is dashed about the relationship and doesn’t even know why she isn’t satisfied with the relationship any longer. I’m not saying that’s how all girls are, but it’s a trend to have many relationships nowadays. Don’t get a girlfriend just for the sake of having one.

The media and corporations these days really break humanity into bits and pieces. Lots of what people do these days is a result of what has been said, done, perceived or shared by the media, social networks and corporations, all in the purpose and name of dirty money. Make sure that how you feel about not having a relationship isn’t reflected upon outsider expectations.

If I have to put what you’re going through in a “matchmaker” scenario; A nice man deserves a very sensitive woman. I say this because, generally speaking, the man is the tough figure in a relationship. He is the masculine logical person. Just to balance out the emotional female + the logical male aspect of it, the female has to be in a more sensitive/delicate state or personality than the man (in your case). Femininity is naturally more gullible and delicate than masculinity. I don’t know how else to put it really, but having a very nice man and a tough girl in the same relationship would make it a living hell for that man. I’m just setting out a picture here. For you to be able to have a healthier, happier and longer relationship, you would have to understand your partner very well. If you have that understanding and you know that you could do with her (at the same time, knowing that you would be able to meet her needs) then you guys are good for each other.

You mentioned that you take too long to get out and have sexual intercourse with a girl and that you are working on fastening your pace; That comes under changing yourself to meet undesired expectations. You’d rather want to know and understand each other more before jumping into sex. It just doesn’t start off like that. You would need to build a stronger relationship for things to work out in order to guarantee your future together. You wouldn’t want to bore each other at the same time. It’s unhealthy to be very proactive in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, and it’s also unhealthy to be too distant. You will need to be balanced between being too nosy and being too passive, as dull and blurry as it may sound. You will be the one who will make sure the balance is met.

One thing I’ve learnt is that ALWAYS being there is a bad thing. It’s really fine to skip a date/invite because you are busy with other things or you are too tired. Just giving the girl the impression that you will be okay with going out at any time psychologically turns her off. It’s just natural that a nice person would want to always give in, and so when it starts to work against you, you will be upset and disgruntled with yourself. Give in, but don’t push it.

This does not mean you should change who you are to satisfy others. That’s the worst thing that could be done. Stay who you are. Most importantly, be comfortable with who you are. Let time play its role, and don’t rush things. I’m in your same footsteps, and just as I mentioned in my first few lines: This is coming out of little experience and lots of perception.. Yes I’m trying to help you out, but I’m struggling myself. Sad reality for me ;o

Don’t bother yourself too much with things that can come later in life or things that are temporary. You need to prioritize, and you are currently focused on an opportunity that comes across once in your lifetime at the right age; That is, finishing your studies.

Please excuse me if I might have been vague or offensive at any point. I haven’t edited what I had typed. I just let my mind free and my fingertips went with the flow. I could have gone further, and I could have proofread making this more professional, but I’m currently too sleepy to do so :p

Remember – Patience is virtue
Good night!
– Saif