Dear HoneyBlossom,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me again, I truly appreciate it.

I think you are very right in saying that love is an action. I think I often end up feeling like a victim and thinking there’s nothing that I can do, etc. I am emotional just like you – I consider myself to be highly sensitive.
When you say “Most of the panic I feel is related to knowing that unless there is real love in actions then in time,  the sexual attachment will not sustain the relationship” – you are living in the future not the present. I don’t know if you’ve heard of this quote before but it was very helpful to me – “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present”. Try to enjoy the relationship you have with your partner for what it is now. I don’t know about you, but I most often find myself worrying about things that never end up happening.

Trust that you are exactly where you need to be! And I will do the same.
Warm wishes to you!

Fruzsina

Hi Anita,

That is truly great advice. I thought about doing something similar myself – you see, I ‘trained’ my mind when it comes to my own anxiety attacks, so I thought “why can’t I train my mind to get over this also”.

I think it sounds simpler than it is – It feels as though it could be so simple but when it comes to it and this dark feeling takes over, it feels very threatening. I will try and stay calm and work through my feelings in the future, and talk to my ‘monkey mind’.

Thank you Anita!

Fruzsina

Hi George,

Thank you for explaining this. I think you are completely right! I am still young and trying to find my ‘purpose’ I guess, and I realise that I often depend on others to hang out with me & make plans. When those plans fall apart, I feel a little disappointed because I’m not sure what to do on my own. It doesn’t feel so bad however, because they are just my friends – I am not in love with them so the feelings are not so intense.

I think you are right when you say I am insecure. It’s funny, because in the past I never thought of myself as an insecure person. However, all of this becomes so obvious when I am in a relationship and not able to trust my significant other. I do in fact have a lot of work to do. I am reading another book on self love and I am excited to start practicing self love.

Thank you again,

Fruzsina

Hi Gia,

I guess I did grow up in a family where taking care of men was the norm. My grandma’s always do all the cooking/chores for their man and for the men just sit around and not help out much. My mum (because of my grandparents) always jokes around when I make a good meal to say “now I can get married”. So in a way, I grew up seeing that with my grandparents, but not with my parents. My mum still does take care of my dad to some extent and cooks more, but it is because he works long hours to support the two of them as my mum works less.

RQ