Of course, in your own time.

Hi Anita! What you say about ‘at most a friendship is possible’ helped me with some closure so thank you for that. Thank you also for helping me clear up my uncertainty on her comments.

I met up with her today and I have now ended the friendship. It was the right decision for me. Before 2 months ago, when we were good friends,  we decided that we, along with a couple of friends would go on holiday. When I ended it two months ago I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to go on holiday with her and she said she would ask me early July time whether I would like to go. Yesterday she told me that she’d found someone else and gone ahead and booked it anyway. This was quite hurtful to me and I felt angry and upset. I feel I don’t really have the time or energy to deal with someone like this. It’s just not worth it. She says that she just assumed that we weren’t friends anymore despite not being clear with me about it at all. She made this assumption because in the past she didn’t stay friends with others where either she or someone else developed feelings for the other. Everyone’s different with how they think and feel about these kind of things and I don’t understand how she can make this assumption. It seems inexcusable.

I will eventually forgive her in my heart but today, and probably the near future, is not the time.

Sure I will do. I shall let you know how it goes as well! Thank you for helping me dissect this situation and for your support.

I am beyond grateful that someone I don’t know has had such a positive impact on my life.

Thank you Anita. You’re very kind and thoughtful.

Thank you for giving me the confidence in what I am going to say.

I completely agree with what you said at the end regarding me saying how I’ve felt over the past 2 months is too much. I can’t seem to pinpoint why that may not be helpful to say? Could you help me understand this please?

I had in my head that it would just take the one meet up but it makes more sense that it might take longer.

I plan to say something along these lines:

‘So I have told you about my feelings for you but I’ve never actually explained them to you and that’s something I want to do. What I look for for a relationship, personally, is someone who is sensitive, kind and just a best friend. Whilst I wasn’t ticking off boxes when we did talk, you have all of those qualities which explains why I feel the way I do about you. I do care a lot about you but at the time (when we were friends) it just got all too much for me and there was just too much of a divide between what I was feeling for you and what our relationship actually was at the time. I still do have these feelings to be honest and that’s where I stand. You don’t have to say anything or answer right now I can understand that may be a lot’

Depending how things go I might ask her ‘Did you have any feelings towards me at any point or ever think about the possibility of a relationship?’, ‘Would you ever be open to the possibility of a relationship?’ and then repeating to her that she doesn’t have to answer those questions right now.

Thank you for your reply Anita! 😊

yes I think you’re right it’s never occurred to me to find out exactly what she is looking for so thank you for pointing that out.

So when she reached out to me initially she wasn’t interested in persuing  any relationship with me. But over the next few months we got closer and closer and then I couldn’t take it. I told her that I’m getting feelings for her and she said she wasn’t looking for a relationship at that moment in time.
So maybe it is clear that she doesn’t want a relationship but I don’t think we’ve communicated about this openly enough and I’m yet to find out exactly what she wants.

I would love some help in improving my communication with her thank you! ❤️

Hi Sarah thank you for taking the time to read and reply ❤️

I did tell her that I had feelings for her when I broke our friendship up and she said she wasn’t looking for a relationship at the point in her life. Maybe I do need more closure though.