Dear Anita,

I’m sorry for the late reply, but I had a full schedule (actually more than full) and I didn’t feel like writing here if I couldn’t have the necessary time, focus, and energy to do so.
Even though my schedule was quite full, some advances still managed to happen in the meantime. The guy contacted me to ask me if we could meet on his way back home (he had a layover of some hours here) and I said yes since I felt like I had to tell him some things. I had thought about everything and I wanted to say it.We met, and I told him that i’m looking for a person that doesn’t treat me like an option or a “safe bet” and that accepts the uncertainty of my profession and accepts me as a person who is here learning, like all of us are. he told me what he looked for in a guy (we definitely don’t want the same things) but in the end of the conversation he said that he would like to keep in touch with me, to which I told him that I had no problems with that (as long as we talk as friends). I felt sad after because I felt like I still haven’t found the connection and intimacy I’m looking for, but I also realized that this good friend of mine who is here and I told you about has been amazing with me and to be honest I never had a friend with whom I had such a good connection as with him, so overall I’m pretty happy and grateful for that. I feel like I’m getting what I need to get over this and to develop myself as well even though I still would like to have the connection I’m looking for. He not only helped me a lot (with things as simple as good and meaningful conversations) and has been one of the best friends I’ve ever had.
For now I guess I should stick to what you told me in the last post 🙂

Tell me what you think about it if you have the time, I would like to know what you think

Hope everything is well and hope to hear from you soon!

Rookie

Dear Anita,

Thanks for your words. I would like to tell you once more that I’m deeply grateful for all of your help. It has helped me to understand a lot of things better.Thank you.

About your input I just have to say that you are right about all of the above, I guess now it’s time to address my situation of not believing that such man exists (its a really deep one because as I said and you quoted, I didn’t even think before saying it which means that it’s a really deep belief). I’ve been trying to address that now, but until now no results, I see that I’m more positive towards life and I don’t think that everyone is bad anymore which is a really good start ( I used to think that everyone was bad and people always had a ulterior motive for liking you, like as if it would be an exchange of favors).I’m really happy about this development, but I would like to develop myself more. To understand that it’s OK to long for closeness and intimacy,but that I don’t need to go for anything less than I deserve. And I deserve to be happy. That it’s OK to be alone, but not OK to be lonely. And to work on this deeply rooted beliefs will help me achieve my goal.
If you have any ideas of how can I work this better please let me know

Thank you so much once again

Rookie

Dear Anita,

No problem, I totally understand, just say something when you feel better. Happens to all of us.
I don’t know what I can tell you about me that might be helpful to this situation in particular, so if there’s anything that you wanna know just ask and I’ll gladly tell you.

Thanks and hope you are feeling better!

Rookie

Dear Anita and Janeames,

Anita thanks for your words,i’m trying to practice and learn as most as I can with the situations as they happen, but you are right, I do need to learn to be more patient.

Janeames thanks for your words as well, and to be honest now that you pointed that out you made me think, I haven’t seen it from that perspective, maybe he is definitely looking for something different from what I want, I’ll try to pay attention to the signals as they come and Hopefully I will see the reality of things. As to go back to dating the whole idea of dating is kinda scary to me, because these days and in my generation (i’m 23) most of it happens trough apps and online dating which I did tried but it didn’t go very well and i felt like that wasn’t for me so I stopped. since my last ex-bf (which I met through online dating) I have been pretty much focusing on work and reading a lot (books and articles from here as well) and developing myself. Actually this guy came to talk to me trough social networks and dropped me a message and that’s how we started talking. I was pleasantly surprised (even though super skeptical at the beginning) and then the rest of the story I already told you here. I don’t feel like going and try to date other people, but I guess that I should be open to meet people and stuff if the situation arises and I want it. does that seem reasonable? What do you think?

Rookie

Janeames yes I can have an idea, I live on the other side of the world as well (was born in Europe and I live in asia now) but I almost have no communication with my family aside from my sis (I’m better with my family issues but I still have a lot to work on). And to be honest I was expecting him to not reply or to think that I was insane (I know I should have expectations whether they are good or bad but I couldn’t help it), at least it taught me that there are some good people in this world not everyone is that bad, but I still feel like this is complicated to handle.

Hey guys
Before giving my update I would like to thank you guys once again for your answers 🙂
So I texted him and I was as honest as possible and said that I really liked to meet him and that I would like to try and see him more often (he’s going actually to be one country away until Christmas and then back to where he was before) he took a while to answer (which I totally understand because I would probably do the same to think as well) and he said that he was glad that I was this honest but at this point is too soon too tell and that he would need to spend more time with me to form an opinion, that he wanted to stay I touch with me and see where this will go (our conversations and eventually our placements). It does seem reasonable, but I guess it’s hard for me not to feel like I’m going to get iluded with this, we already talked on the phone after that and we talked normally and it was nice. I know I shouldn’t stop my life because of this and at the same time it does feel reasonable, but I would like to hear what you guys think

Thanks 🙂