Kath, thank you SO much for this. It’s genuinely amazing to know that you have been through/are going through the exact same thing, as I’m sure many people are – but it is really reassuring that you have shared your story with me so thank you so much!

I definitely agree with the benefits of a two-step breakup because, like you say, I have seen another side not only of him but also of me. I know that I can pick myself up because time will always be on my side as it continues and moves and life keeps happening, so the sadness will come but it will also go! I definitely don’t feel as bad this time around, however I can’t help but read our relationship in a bad way since the point he cheated, trying to work out what else he lied about or whether he really meant all of the things that he said..

Another thing that i’m thinking about is whether it’s normal for it to be constantly on my mind? How often did you think about him/the relationship after breaking up?

Again, thank you so much for all of this!! I’m glad to hear that you haven’t been quashed as a result of your breakup, we can be awesome together – unstoppable! 😛

Anita, thanks for reading my post and sharing your thoughts!

I think you’re right to some degree, he is definitely internally angry and had always been very pessimistic. He probably did subconsciously hurt me to extort his power that he had over me, I think he secretly likes to be in control and have the ability to hurt somebody. Like you say, his exterior was nice but deep down I have no idea what his true intentions were, despite him saying “he never wanted to hurt anyone” – I don’t think I will ever really know him, or anyone for that matter!

I don’t know, maybe he did really love me and never did have bad intentions, but then why would he cheat? I’m trying not to dwell on feeling sad – I feel like anger will help pull me through, but I don’t want that to be the course of my own self destruction at the same time…

Thanks again 🙂

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Poppyk.