Hi Sojourner, thank you for your response, and the bit of reality you are giving me. I have thought about the honor of the other man too. This is so difficult, but I will not jump into anything, and will try to see things from another perspective. Thank you…

Thank you Mark, that was great, she hits the nail on the head! I am reading a book, Sex at Dawn, which says very similar things. Interestingly, since I became aware that the other man was attracted to me, I have been feeling more desire for my husband. And that, of course, is because I have been feeling more confident, more alive, more attractive, more desirable.
The difficult thing is that the flirting with the other man, brings a spring in my step, a smile on my face, a lightness in my heart. To let that go, as I have tried for a long time, and to return to the safety and comfort and predictability of before, hurts! A hell of a lot! I don’t want to let it go!
Then I thought I, maybe I am too dependent on what others think of me, and I need to find this joy and lightness in myself, here, now, in the moment. And I can do that to a degree, I feel more at peace with myself and others, judge less, and love more.
But what about the fun, adventure, freedom, passion? Can I spread my wings, or leave them clipped?