By the way Anita,  Since you have mentioned about the money – I have helped him plenty of times with money. but everytime he borrows he makes sure that he returns to me as soon as possible except for one instance where he forgot and I too didn’t bother to remind him because it was not a big amount. But that I think he didn’t do it purposely he simply forgot I guess.

Also today I got a notification saying his new GF have viewed my LinkedIn profile. I have deactivated all my social media accounts. However since I’m not active on linkedin I totally forgot about it. I was very irritated to see her name and to know that she had tried to view my profile.

Anita – Its so nice of you to think about myself.  I am touched by your words coz I always feel down thinking how someone you love so much treat you so badly as if all the years I spend with him doesn’t matter at all. but glad to know there’re good people in this world who cares for each an every soul eventhough they know a little about them.

Yes Anita I didn’t answer because  I know I might have to listen to his sob story again and I am not gonna gain anything by that. But I was a bit worried also when he called me coz I really cant see people suffering and the attempt he takes to reach me etc.

Sometimes I feel so am angry with him and  sometimes I feel sorry for him too after all what he did to me. I really don’t understand myself coz how can I be so caring towards the other person without even thinking  what I am going through because of him. This has always been the case – everytime I pushed him away he is restless and struggles to reach me so I didn’t want to hurt him coz I cared too much. But when he decided to move he didn’t even think twice about me and he said he cant help if got hurt by his decision so that proves he never felt sorry for me the way I did for him.

No matter what I still do love him Anita and I miss him so much but it hurts to know that he’s with another person while am still suffering. The man who promised me he would stick with me till the end.

Michelle – I totally get your point talking to him will hurt me even more I am not in a situation where I can cope anything negative and hurtful. I find myself so weak and I look so pale. it was so depressing to see myself in the mirror yesterday coz I look so sick I felt so sorry for myself. I have always been a very strong person who took care of myself. But today every person who sees me asks ‘Are you ok, u look unwell’ So that shows how much I have been suffering mentally and physically where others could also notice the change.

Bubba – Thanks for reading my post – ‘He evaluated the situation and went over it before he came to the decision. He did not just make the decision, he did it behind your back without showing it and talking to you’ – This statement of you is so true that’s why am so hurt the betrayal and pretending to be it was a proposal and in few months he decides she can be his life partner whereas knowing me for 7 years he couldn’t do any justice for me. I have no words to explain how much it hurts.

Yes he wants to have contacts with me secretely. He has been dragging this so long coz he wanted his parents and me both he couldn’t take a decision all these years and finally decided to please them by finding a person as per their choice while he still wants me to accept him and forgive him and still to have contacts with him. So that he has everyone by his side and he can live Happily ever after. But that way doesn’t work with me. The day I found he cheated me I seriously don’t want to be a part of his life.

By the way Anita /Michelle/Bubba – When he called me at one point I did think should I answer and tell him all I what I feel because no matter what there’re loads of untold things to him which is buried deep down me. I can share only half of the story with u’ll and my friends but there’re loads of things where I cannot share with any of you other than him. But I couldn’t do that.

So I felt if its ok to send that email which I was trying to send few days back – I know I’m not gonna gain anything from it, I don’t want to make him feel bad or I don’t want him to be sad, regret or anything. I just want to tell him whatever that’s in my heart and release it for my ownself and I will tell him clearly I don’t need any response to it.

I really dunno if its an good idea or not, please advice

Risha

Hi Anita,

‘Seems like I always have something to say, or type, more accurately’ – Yes you do and I really appreciate your advises.

‘One day you will no longer feel low and down, you will no longer feel anything at al’l – I wish I can feel this way soon as possible.

Your words are encouraging Anita, I will try my best to come out of this mess.

Please keep in touch coz you’re such a wonderful person – I will get back to you soon. Until then please take care of yourself.

Risha

Yes I understand Anita. I have no choice other than making up my mind. Thank you u so much for all the advises Anita really appreciate it.

Catch u soon Tc

Hi Anita I still cant believe what happened to him. He always made me believe that important to him even the day he called me n told abt the proposal he made me feel important. After that the day i met him the last time he knew that i got to knw about this girl that its not a proposal and after i proposed him that will marry thats where he changed and acted as a stranger. I can never forget how he treated me the last time.

About me travelling i love to travel around bur right now what i need the most is move out and live somewhere else for sometime.   Im planning to move for higher studies so that it will keep me occupied still not planned where to i have few places im my mind but to work on them i do not have a clear mind. I wamt to totally experience something new if i stay in my home country i will end up crazy. Maybe uk,Aussie,canada but i knw the procesd might take time but hamgoning toy present place is so difficult. I just hate coming to work. Everytime my extension rings i think its him and i get disappointed.

I dunno day by day its becoming harder for me Anita. Please excuse me for any errors im typying while am travelling

Dear Anita,

Many thanks yes I actually will have no regrets thinking that I at least tried.

By the way he has posted  pics with his family  saying ‘my beloved family’ those were the people who hurt me and threatened me, those were the people he left me for but he still decides to hurt me by uploading those as if he’s so happy and my presence or disappearance  does not matter to him at all. Like I was a bad experience.

Its really ok Anita that’s his family and I am glad that he’s happy with them and I’m glad I gave their son back to them if I was selfish I could have convinced him initially to marry me and leave his parents. But I know the value of a family I have lost my father and I  Know the pain so I didn’t want him lose his parents because of me. But what it hurts is he knows why I pushed him away he knows how his family treated me, he knows he couldn’t do any justice for me but doesn’t care how I feel and what I am going through. Just doing his own thing.

Anyway all his behaviour is a shock for me indeed. He’s not the person whom I knew when he was with me. I trusted him more than myself but he has dragged me into a level where I cant stand up. he knows I have nobody closer to me other than my Mom. He knows the commitments I have. But still decides to live his own life whereas I always thought and did things not to hurt him and harm is family. Such a cruel world.

I know its not advisable for me to check his profile coz ultimately I am the one who will get hurt. But I couldn’t help myself.

All these years the drama saying he cannot live without me, he will never leave me, if I leave him he will harm him self. wow I was such a fool to fall for him I thought he was sensitive. He did all these to keep me close to him. now I realize he’s very smart and he would have never harmed himself I could have walked out long long time ago.

Now I have to come into terms that he’s not worth it. Its very hard for me but I know God will help me to be stronger.

Hope all ok at your end Anita? You take care.

Risha

Hi there. Just woke up today with a doubt in mu mind. After he told me that he’s going to marry this girl do u think it was a good idea for me to go and meet him for the last time and ask him to change his mind and marry me?

Thats bothering me a lot Anita. If i did the right thing? At thatoment why i did that was coz i didnt want any regrets later on thinkinh i never tried to stop anything.

I actually went witu a lot of hopes thinkinh i can get him change with a trust he would never say no and never leave me. But the way we reacted, the way he spoke, and finally his answer sayin No to me…everything was w schocked for me.

I always thougjht he will do some justice to our love.

I know now its gone n no point talking abput it. But now why did i have question wether meeting him was a right choice. Have i hurt myself badly bcos of this ?