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samy

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 165 total)
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  • February 20, 2022 at 7:14 pm in reply to: What is Positive to you? #393227
    samy
    Participant

    I wish, but no. You could try re-reading what I wrote. But that’s how look at being positive.

    February 20, 2022 at 6:10 pm in reply to: I want to be normal #393221
    samy
    Participant

    Thanks for the offer, anita.

    Girija

     

     

     

     

     

    February 20, 2022 at 6:09 pm in reply to: What is Positive to you? #393219
    samy
    Participant

    Hi Brian

    Being positive is to be on your own side. We have the ability to imagine or project the future whether it is the next minute, the next hours or 10 years from now. Being positive would be to think in your favour. Now this can become unrealistic if you think you’ll become a marathon runner but don’t train. But, where it is powerful is when there are outcomes you can’t control. Gives your mind and heart peace and relief. To me there doesn’t need to be true positive. That is not how it works. It is to what degree do you have to think favourably to make life worth it for you.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by samy.
    February 20, 2022 at 10:09 am in reply to: I want to be normal #393206
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    Glad to hear covid didn’t bother you. That’s great!

    I can think about other things and eventually tire out and fall asleep.

    Girija

    February 20, 2022 at 9:44 am in reply to: I want to be normal #393204
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    We don’t have the report yet. We’ll call the hospital up tomorrow morning to check if it is ready. I am feeling very nervous. Feel it in my stomach. I don’t know what will happen. A bad result is so scary, I can’t even think about what I’ll do after that. I am terrified of all that we might have to go through if the result is bad. I know its just the thought I am afraid of. But the fear’s there.

    How are you doing? Are you feeling any aftereffects of covid. One of my friends tells me she is extremely tired in the evenings even after she tested negative.

    Girija

    February 19, 2022 at 9:10 pm in reply to: I want to be normal #393197
    samy
    Participant

    Good night, anita.

    February 19, 2022 at 8:10 pm in reply to: I want to be normal #393195
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    We woke up early today. I was at the hospital when I wrote to you, my mom went in for the scan. I will try this new choice out. It seems like a good idea, in principle like you said. But, basically looking at the big picture that all this will go away so might as well enjoy to the best I can. It also comes with the privilege of having a decent bank balance from having worked until now and in general belonging to the middle class. I might as well make use of this privilege.

    How to be shameless – don’t worry about what it looks like to others when you have a blast with your life. Choosing myself first. Not whether my next project will fail, how it may cause errors, how my health will turn out. No worries. What has to happen will happen. Be happy.

    Girija

    February 19, 2022 at 6:56 pm in reply to: I want to be normal #393191
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    Asked in other words, didn’t you already choose to enjoy? Why did you fail (to enjoy)? – I don’t know if I ever really have chosen to enjoy. I have been waiting for the pain or suffering to go away. And choosing to survive. What if I make a choice to enjoy. Have a dance party by myself today, that type of a thing. Consciously do fun things despite the constant stream of angst life throws at us.

    Girija

    February 19, 2022 at 9:38 am in reply to: I want to be normal #393106
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    I wish you would be optimistic. But you obviously know what’s best for you, so I won’t insist on it. I will practice focussing on what I can control.

    I don’t see why we can’t choose to enjoy vs suffering less. I think the mindset of choosing less suffering is what is depressing to me. I am not going to say it will be for you. I might as well enjoy. Not get depressed that there is no forever. It will continue to make me sad, but I won’t dwell on it. Maybe instead of animals, babies? They are happy by default. Animals to me are very somber.

    Girija

    February 19, 2022 at 8:51 am in reply to: I want to be normal #393104
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    What scares you is the THOUGHT that she will be devastated if the result is bad. When you are not thinking about it, you are not scared of this particular fear. So, what scares you is a THOUGHT. – yes the thought or the possibility scares me. But I need to accept that I can’t control it.

    Once in a while, reintroduce to yourself the thought that better you accept the things you cannot change with as much serenity as possible for you at any moment. when I accept something, how do I not let it turn into depression. I don’t if it makes sense but even in my previous post, while it sounds good to say make the best of each day, it is also depressing to accept that we are helpless or have no control. I don’t know how to articulate it but essentially I understand in theory I could say since we are here for a limited time, might as well enjoy. But the actual feelings are depressing. It is so sad that we can’t live forever, happily.

    Girija

     

    February 19, 2022 at 8:23 am in reply to: I want to be normal #393101
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    I recognize the inevitability of death. Especially during the pandemic. We are lucky to be alive, and we don’t know there’s a tomorrow. So being grateful and making the best out of each day is the way to go. I guess the fear is of suffering. Wanting peace and joy for when we are here. Thank you for those words. It really helps to put things in perspective. I think I’m jealous of people that have it easy in some of these areas, but again recognize that I’ll never know how much another person is suffering and also that other people have it worse than I do.

    Worrying is of no use. It will not bring me solutions. I think it is fear that something will be too much for me, in this case it is, and wanting to not go through it again. Not wanting my mom to be down. I don’t want to see her devastated again.

    I must work on being kind in action and words. I get carried away in anxiety that I forget the big picture. In fact, if I think about the big picture, none of things I worry about – finding love, and what not, wouldn’t really matter. We just have to make the best of what we get.

    Girija

    February 19, 2022 at 5:49 am in reply to: I want to be normal #393098
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    I will be calm. We got a slot for tomorrow. I’ll be taking her.

    I’d like to know. How to not be afraid of this. Comes every 6 months ( there are 2 different tests per year) and each time it takes away my peace due to the fear of a bad result. Is there an ideal way to go about this? You have a lot of wisdom in terms the best way someone can live for themselves and how to go about it. Do you know of a way where this won’t bother me? The reason I ask is the emotional turmoil every 6 months stagnates and depresses me. I feel like a slave to these tests. And I know my mom will be tensed too which she doesn’t express, but I can’t help her when she doesn’t express it. I atleast want to be in a better place.

    Girija

    February 18, 2022 at 8:38 pm in reply to: I want to be normal #393090
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    I will let you know, it will be done towards the end of this week.

    Girija

    February 18, 2022 at 7:47 pm in reply to: I want to be normal #393088
    samy
    Participant

    Hi anita

    My mom’s scan is coming up that she does once every year, and that has disrupted my flow. I don’t want to feel down when health is at stake. I want to not be anxious or scared even during such times as our family is overrun with illnesses. I don’t know how to do that. Otherwise, everything else, I don’t care about and it’s good.

    Girija

     

    February 18, 2022 at 7:44 am in reply to: FEELING WORTHLESS #392990
    samy
    Participant

    You are not worthless, bhai. You got a government job without reservation and ranked 400 in GATE. You’ll easily get paid to become a training coach anywhere in India. Also, you have amazing morals. You are more worthy than the corrupt seniors who tried to abuse their power when you were in need. I am proud of you. I believe good people will always prosper. Good luck, with GATE. Even if you find it tough and it doesn’t work out, you have options. You have work experience till last year that you can show on your resume. MBA bhi try kar sakhte ho. CAT mushkil hai lekin private university se bhi hojayega. Kuch saal kam karlena uske baad higher studies. Iss desh ka kuch badlega nahi, aap apna dekhlo. Mere prayers hain aapke saath. Society se darna mat. Society will never stand with you during your trials, so don’t care about their judgement.

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 165 total)
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