Hej Agnes,

It seems to me like you’re going through an immensely difficult time in your life!
What always helps me in situations like these is to be as compassionate and kind to myself as possible, and to offer myself all the space I need and not to demand anything from myself.
In addition I try to solve and do the things that I can, and I try not to focus on the things that I don’t have an answer to at that moment.
And probably it doesn’t help you right now, but when you realize you are past most of the things that bother you right now (and you will get past them), you’ll realize that it was all a great opportunity to learn and to become a stronger person.

Best of luck!