I feel your pain and I am hoping I can get some help, I feel like I am slowly dying. I divorced 3 years ago, met who I thought was my soul mate and fell so hard in love with her and she did with me. After a year we moved in together, got engaged, started making plans, etc.Yes we had our issues like any couple but nothing insurmountable. She drank a bit much but I got her to get to the point where it wasn’t affecting us. My biggest thing was not communicating well on big topics. Something I always struggled with but was working on. Therapy, self help, got diagnosed a month ago at age 45 w/ ADHD which my psyc. told me can inhibit communication so I at least had a genuine reason for my issue but again was working very hard at it because there is nothing I would not have done for her, she was my world, my everything. I still feel that way, she is thee most incredible person I have ever known. I have 2 kids from my previous marriage and she was and still is amazing to them. They adore her and vice versa. Just thought it would be she and I until death, I thought we were perfect or as close to it as 2 people can be. She is a very complex person and about a year ago the communication problem started to really affect her and she started on anti-depressants. I thought it was a bit much but I supported it. Whatever she needs. She is from Wisc. and we live in Illinois so she does not get to see family or friends often so in Feb. she told me an old friend is going through a divorce and he is going on a road trip to see some old friends including her. They have been friends and never anything more for about 13 years. I said ok, cool. On 3/29 she told me she needs a break. Needs to get back to who she was, socializing ( she is very social) focus on her new job ( executive), and just focus on herself. In her defense, she really did put everything on hold for me and my kids to make sure we were all ok after my divorce. So as much as it hurt I said ok. You do that and I will work on myself. She said the door is not closed to me, she does not want to be in ANY relationship right now, she is not looking to replace me, etc. We still live together too, still friends, still a little bit intimate so far although that may change, more on that in a minute. So I have been working very hard on me, found a lot of “demons” from my childhood and have been able to purge them. I personally am feeling pretty good but at the same time dying w/out her being mine. Well, this week, she is on a cruise w/ her brother and I think there is more than just friendship at this point w/ the old friend. Its my gut feeling and I am hardly ever wrong.They have been in touch ALOT since he visited, and I think sneaking around. Now, again, we are technically broken up so I guess its not sneaking but it kind of is because she isn’t telling me that it’s more than friendship. Even though she says we still have a chance, I feel I am losing her to him. Please help me, I am dying and I don’t know what to do with any of this. Should I continue to fight for her? Should I move on somehow? I cant afford to live on my own, my kids live with us, they just went through the divorce with me and their mom. Damn, how could she do this to us? I am so hurt and sad. I have no one to talk to, all my friends and family abandoned me during my divorce. 🙁

• This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by mang313.