Hi cool if u want to keep friendship with me though we live world apart you can reach me at grghope@yahoo.com may be we could help each other get through this difficult times.

Hi dear I feel like this is my post . I always
Fell like outsider in my friend circle . I literally don’t have any except for my siblings but sadly they only comes once In a while . This loneliness is killing me ,I can’t seem to understand why I don’t deserve happiness. Life seems so unfair ,I don’t go out of my house ,I don’t work n I m always surround by same people . God this is killing me and to top up my grief I landed my self in such a bad situation from which I can’t take myself out .

Dear jasmine

Thinking after what you have posted, yes I have accumulated so many negative thoughts and I don’t have self respect for myself. I know dharma is all about kind heart and loving nature but living in a same place with same people make me frustrated . But I have learn a lesson that I should always be true to myself n never sell my self short. Sometime I feel like I should go back to monastery n say sorry to my guru again but I know what’s gonna happen after that I m gonne be frustrated . God the more I think about this incident ,it makes me feel like a loser . Now I know what every one thinks about me . God why am I so stupid . In this incident I feel worse on my stupidity . How can I be so naive to think that every thing will be alright . Can you give me some suggestion on letting go
Of mistakes and moving forward . I just wish it all goes awAy soon . Please help me

Hi lissy
Thanks for your suggestion . Its like I drag the whole thing . It’s my stupidity ,which I can’t forgive myself for . It’s involve my guru , whom I respect a lot . When I first ask for the permission he was like think about it actually it’s about changing my life style .then I felt so guilty for only thinking about me then I thought I should say sorry to him and ask for permission to stay at my parents but he refused he was willing to give me a year break ,as I couldn’t go back I disagreed so he got angry I know he has right to .its been month now I realize I was so wrong to go to him as I couldn’t stay on my current life style I haven’t change yet and I promised him I won’t which I can’t keep for sure I m really regretting for changing my decision .in our religious not listening to your guru is a very big sin .i realized that I was asking forgiveness , and I didn’t listen to him . If only I haven’t been to him second time. I was unhappy before now I m unhappy as well as miserable . What do you think I shoul do ? Please giver advice .i m so traumatized I couldn’t function properly n octant stop myself from dwelling . I m always asking why am I so stupid ? It’s been my mantra for the last month . I m having trouble sleeping ,studying n I have lost weight . Seeing me like this my parents they are worried . God help me . My guru will never forgive megod how can I be so stupid .