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rbcrbcParticipant
Hi Glad to hear you are feeling better. I have been too; I was feeling guilty about not calling that guy back I dated for a short while (I do have a bf), but like you, something just told me not to; and I feel at peace about that now. When we are able to feel something great with someone, I really feel it has more to do with ourselves, than the other person. If you felt great with that guy, it only means you now have a new capacity to really connect.
rbcrbcParticipantHi, how long were you guys dating? It sounds like he was not ready for anything serious and he even told you so; and I am guessing he might have gotten back with his ex. When a guy says he’s not ready for something serious, it means he’s not serious. Instead of dealing with the conversations, he decided to just disappear. You moving to NYC sounded like it was for him and it probably scared him as well. The alternative scenario is something bad happened to him. What have you found as far as looking online? This is not to suggest that you look more, of course. My first bf left me and never wanted to talk to me again. It was time (alot of time) and real love that helped me move on. My real love at that time came in form of a child that I brought into the world; I was still closed for many years after that, but after I got my professional life on its track, it was then I found true love with a guy- when I finally realize what it was that I should be looking for. If you can truly understand that guy’s motivation for what he did, it might make you feel better. He probably thought it was the best course of action not just for him but for you, to disappear. A worst case scenario is if he had continued on, knowing he could not be ‘serious’ and used you in the process. My advice is DO NOT contact him- what would be the point? You already know why this happened, right? And it wasn’t anything personal or against you… by contacting again, you are continuing to give him that power over you (you care what he thinks and want him around in some fashion), but you are much more important than him. (I had another short relationship where the guy was just bad news but the pull was so strong- cutting off all contact was the best thing I ever did).
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