Hi Susie,
I am so sorry for your loss. 16 years ago I lost a baby girl the same way so I understand where you are. I have always heard that everything happens for a reason and nothing happens by chance. 16 years later, I still don’t understand why I lost my baby girl and why wasn’t I ever given the chance to look into her eyes? I wish I had answers for you… and, truthfully, for myself, too. The only thing I have landed on is that I was able to carry my beautiful girl for those precious months and, though it was far too brief, at least I had that little bit of time with her. She is part of my bigger picture… part of my journey. I wanted so much more for her and for us. It didn’t happen that way. Just like my baby girl, your beautiful girl will always be with you. That sounds very cliche but it is the truth. I always feel my girl with me.

Christopher, Will, & Matt offer good words and thoughtful advice. You are not alone. This world is filled with kind people. Be kind to yourself.

Be well.

Hi The Thinker, Congratulations on your big decision! Your thoughtfulness about your situation shows that you have a jumpstart on the whole parenting thing. In answer to your questions:
1. Everything changed. In some ways it was good and in others… not so good. The good is to see these little beings pull you together as a team. Kids can be stressful— financially, emotionally, etc. Sometimes it can be hard but try to focus on the good and let the rest go.
2. I changed in many ways. Before having kids, I had so many ideals on how My Children Will Never_________. I quickly learned and am sometimes reminded to not judge others for their parenting styles. It always comes back to bite you. When you say “My child would NEVER act that way!” is like pushing an invisible button so that your child in the future will act that exact way x10. Karma, I guess?
3. My #1 advice to those starting families has 2 parts: 1. make a date with your partner every week. Never miss that date. It is crucial. Kids take time and energy to raise and it is so easy to lose your tie with one another just by being busy. 2. You are your child’s voice and advocate. Don’t back down for them & always listen to what they have to say.
4. I wasn’t afraid but maybe I should have been? Parenting is hard…. you never know if you are making the right decisions. However, it is the absolute best journey you can go on in life.

Best wishes!

Sometimes it helps me to think, “what is the worst thing that could happen?” If the worst thing were to happen, would it really be the worse thing? In financial situations, an example could be– in your example: “I would have to sell my beloved pram.” Maybe releasing your attachment to “things” will help bring abundance to you? Maybe abundance means abundance of love or creative/spiritual fulfillment? Hang in there… I have often heard that the darkest times are just before the light. I hope your light is just around the next corner!