Thank you Jaishree. Yes I am definitely hurt and weak and very emotional and I haven’t really taken any decision per say. I have separated from him and am not living with him, I don’t think that is too drastic. I have been a good wife (loyal, trustworthy and he has always been my priority). I by no means think I am perfect (in terms of you suggesting I should consider both sides) you are right. However, infidelity does not seem fair no matter what I might of done “wrong”. I am always willing to be a better human being each day that I live. But I need communication not cheating and lying as the answer.
It is hard for me to leave “ME” out of the equation and focus on this. Self love is important right? How can I help someone when I have been wounded so badly? For him to get “help” he needs to decide for himself that seeking help is something important to him. I would love if he saw a psychologist for his own growth, despite what happens with me. But I cannot force that upon him.
It is a tall order for me in terms of forgiveness (and yes I do believe overall in unconditional love) however, I am a human too. I have to forgive being repeatedly lied to, lied to when I was sick, sent a fake itinerary for a flight ticket (which must of taken some crafty work to prepare) and given to me when I was sick all so he could go party in Vegas with his single guy friends. Is this really how a married man acts? And this is something I should forgive? If I do am I not giving him the green light that he can do this to me again? Over the last 4.5 months I have suffered incredibly and so has my family who has had to watch me cry and mourn over what has happened.

I should say also that when things finally came to light (ie – he was completely caught red handed for everything). He still continued to text message a woman he had picked up on one of his trips who thought he was single! Is that really how a remorseful person would act?

I am not trying to demonize my husband or ex. However, I’m just stating everything that has happened.

I am the type of person who fights until the very end. I don’t believe on giving up on marriage but I’m tired and exhausted of being treated like this……