fbpx
Menu

Jeff

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 4 posts - 46 through 49 (of 49 total)
1 2 3 4
  • Author
    Posts
  • May 30, 2013 at 8:23 am in reply to: What Do You Love About Yourself? #36267
    Jeff
    Participant

    I think many of us judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else does. I certainly plead guilty to that!

    What do I love about myself? Six months ago, I would have said nothing. But now- I’m intelligent, articulate, and I’m funny. I also think I’m a pretty fair writer (though I haven’t done much lately except make journal entries).

    May 30, 2013 at 7:54 am in reply to: What a mess! #36266
    Jeff
    Participant

    Personally, I say don’t forget. This is something you can learn from, even if it didn’t work out the way you wanted. I strongly suspect that you never grieved that old relationship to come to terms with it, and so you rebounded with the first guy who came along. Ask yourself, do you want to be with this guy because you care or because you hate being alone? You say yourself that you’ve been in relationships since you were 16 and now you are 29. But let me ask- when did you ever have a chance to work on your own self instead of worrying about a relationship? You have never been alone in your entire adult lifetime. Perhaps it’s time to focus on you and not worry about being with someone. That is just my opinion.

    May 30, 2013 at 6:13 am in reply to: end of a marriage #36264
    Jeff
    Participant

    Yeah Indiglo- My therapist keeps telling me she’s going to whack me with her clipboard if I insist on the totally black or white responses to things! 🙂

    I am actually better than I was. I think the message from the mediator to set things up for the final agreement sent me down a bad path. It is not unexpected, but it hammered me far harder than I thought it would. I guess up to this point I always had a faint hope of our being able to sit down, compromise, and work through everything to save the marriage. Time will dull the pain and maybe I’ll find some balance and even start to like living again. But how many times have we read that we need to live in the now? And my “now” has hurt me beyond any hurt I’ve ever had in my life. Not even my younger brother or my father passing away compares to this loss.

    May 29, 2013 at 6:13 am in reply to: end of a marriage #36244
    Jeff
    Participant

    Thank you for your responses and also for the links.

    I guess a little part of me dies with that message and it hit me far harder than I ever anticipated it would. I know it’s not my ex’s problem that I’m struggling, just as I know there was nothing that could save a marrige that had “run its course” (as my therapist has said). On a good day I might even admit that we had simply grown apart to a point where we both needed very different things out of the marriage. In the end, neither of us did anything wrong except grow apart and stop communicating with each other. Unfortunately, that’s very little consolation.

    And Peter- I absolutely agree with you about starting another relationship too soon. I would bring far too much emotional baggage into any relationship and it will be a long time before i even consider one.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 46 through 49 (of 49 total)
1 2 3 4