lynne,

I would do some reading on how to reconnect with yourself. There is a lyric from a song that goes “If you love yourself, you’ll never be alone.” That has stuck with me and been sort of a mantra to help with my personal struggles and encouragement to get to know myself better. It’s not easy to identify with yourself if you are in the habit of making someone else your identity and can feel very uncomfortable when trying to do so but it’s worth it!

If you Google “spiritual team” you can learn about beliefs that people have that we all have guardian angels, ancestors, etc that we can speak to and ask for guidance. My beliefs in this are very light but I have done a few meditative walks this year that I have felt my father who has passed away was there with me. It’s not exactly the same as to what anita said but the premise is similar. I have definitely spoken out loud occasionally asking for wisdom and guidance and truly believe I wouldn’t have come this far without the help someone gave me I cannot see. I think that’s what makes my story so difficult is that even when I meditate and feel at complete peace I believe she will be back in my life again. Maybe it’s like anita said and it’s just my most recent attachment that I am holding on to that gives me peace but there are times it doesn’t make sense and for some reason I know we will talk again. I haven’t ever had this experience before in previous situations which makes it new territory. Maybe I need to ask my spiritual team to open some new doors faster, ha.

Thanks for the responses folks. Triangle’s blunt response is probably what I needed to hear more than anything. I appreciate it and honestly I don’t want a response, I want to accept she is gone and my life is improving and better things are ahead.

I started following some of the tips on the site here and they have been a wonderful help. Sometimes you just need some tough love to push through too. 🙂