So just 3 days before we had a ugly argument which wasn’t expected at all .

i came home i checked my laptop i felt like he checked my Id ,email bt i wasnt sure than i ignored this but next day i become sure that he opened my Account as i was Logged in in Facebook which i never use in my laptop.

So i asked him politely if he has checked my laptop thn his Answer was what u wanna ask ?

i said :i m Asking that if u checked my laptop?

he: what u want to say ,Say clearly.

Me: i m jst asking if u went through my emails or Facebook.

He denied at first

than i said than how come Fb is logged in in my laptop (politely)

He: it was open so i checked little bit ur page.

Me: i have never logged in from my Laptop.

He :became defensive and said how can u accuse me etc .(btw he has done IT and Programming ,according to him he can Hack anybody Id ) so he start telling me that he can open my account email for that he doesn’t need to use my laptop etc .

Telling me “Who Are You “ he can Hack anybody Id etc .

Me : than do it .( as i dint ever cheat or flirt wd anyone on Fb or any whre and i m not scared of that )

He : dont challenge me” Who are You “  u dnt knw me what i did etc .

Me : u r asking me Who am i ? U tell me Who are u ? U think u r God that can never be Wrong.( because he threaten me bfre abt hacking nd destroying me when once i talked abt break up .or he was Blackmailing me simply by saying Change ur passwords nd use every privacy u can .just see what i ll do .nd it wasnt easy fr him to blackmail me and i replied u knw my all password i m nt going to change any single password .lets see wt u can do . Destroy me if u can ..and thn he said he wont do anything etc …)

He:u asking me why checkd email bt u don’t discuss abt what i found there .( he found my ex email which we exchanged when i was in relationship wd him,it was about my Past )

He : i noticed just today when we were in Restaurant,i tried to put my arms near shoulder u dint let me do that for long because u were giving Signal to another men and he was looking at u again and again . The men was (45-50 yrs old)

Me : he is my Dad ages u think i was flirting wd him .nd u knw i have back pain nd neck issues frm last 2-3 days .

He: no he wasn’t ur Dad age nd ur neck muscles issue was only there when the men was sitting infrnt of us and looking at u . When we came at home i hugged u ,u dint have any complain .

Me : ( i m amazed) u r accusing me wd tht person . I m still young why do i need to flirt wd tht men if iwant i.can flirt wd anyone i want .  But i was always honest nd loyal wd u .thats the result i got to be loyal that i m being accused

he started to defend himself now again nd proving me wrong by saying yah according to u u r still young u dont have problem to flirt with anyone etc ? So on

Me: i never flirted bt i ll flirt now wait and see.

He :ok thn i cant be with a girl like this who will flirt wd other ppl and etc .

Me: but u r Still wd the girl whom u saw giving Signal to that old men .

He : ok i m going out of this apartment tomorrow.and return my every Single thing which i gave u .and then i said sure . He said return now .i handed over my shoes ,pullover notebook every single thing he took every sing thing and threw outside of window or in Dustbin ,eggs,juices ,glassess , boxes salt Sugar,,biscuits,every Single thing he brought in Apartment .

(let me add here he was living with me in my apartment he was responsible to bring all kitchen Stuff ) and i payed all bills :rent,Radio  but i never made him realize abt it .i used to work part time plus in vacations full time to arrange money plus i m a Student )

the kitchen Stuff cost were 1/4 of bills

dear Anita:

thank you alot for ur post.

yes Anita the factor u described earlier can be a reason .the Factor is my FEAR of losing him .i have this Fear that i might lose him or he will leave me..or may be he fall out of love with me .

because i had a bad past experience .

just before my last relationship i was in another relationship it was a perfect relationship inmy eyes i was very confident  person  i knew he loves me alot he ll never leave me ,we are just too perfect for each other nothing can ever make us separate and suddenly he left me without any reason he stopped all his contact ,stopped attending my calls ,till today he dint tell any reason .that was heartbreaking …i was very disturd for months

even after 1.5 years i think about him daily .i think how he broke my heart and why he did so ..

and i am somehow holding those baggage of my past which makes me insecure ,that my beloved bf  ll leave me as i experienced in my past may be .or if he ll hurt me how ll i go through the same heartbreak again  .

hello ANITA ,

Thank you once more ,

i wanted to say yes that makes sense but in my previous post i was unable to make it clear that my bf just went through my emails once  for example on 25 .August at 10 am  ,exactly the same time he text me and ask me about that picture  and later days when i was checking my laptop i found that on 25.august 10 am  my bf forwarded that email and another file from my email which was sent by my male friend was downloaded   on the same  date and time ..

and he said although he sae that emails but he doesnt care about my past etc .

dear Anita ,

there always been multiple reasons to fall out of love with my ex -es  : for example

Ex A :b very possessive about me and interfering in everything i mean disturbing my privacy ,i had no privacy in that relationship ,emotionally abusive (used to threat me that he will kill himself etc ),lying to me about things as i came to know their lies i couldnt figure out how easily they were fooling me and making stories and i was believing every single word of his ..and too much drama .

EX 2:too much possessive ,insecure ,wanted me to do what he wants ,getting angry at me and lying and checking my texts or mobile everyday ,checking fb and replying my male friends from my side ..

in this relationship the way he lied about his education and made thousand of stories about that turned me off …

Ex 2 : (about this relationship i have already wrote  before )possessive,insecure,snooping mobile checking my msgs ,TOO much much Drama ,trust issues ..

I don’t know if giving him any chance make any difference .bcz I have already given 2 chances in last 2.5 months ..

what do u say about this ?

that can be also true .but I am  feeling guilty as if I m doing unfair with him or being selfish .and leaving him like this .but I know  that this relationship will  never work.how can I overcome this situation .this confuse state of mind.

Dear Anita,

as u asked me ,

If you accommodate his obsession, does it ever get to a place where he says: I trust you now, you can breathe?

so I know he wont be Satisfied and wont ever Trust me.but I don’t understand why cant he Trust me ?.I told him that u don’t trust me but he denies every time and says that its just worrying and he cares for me .I told him that u have  Controlling nature why cant u let me be what I am ..and according to him I do whatever I want he never control or doubt me .

I asked him to call me less so that I can study better and focus on other things .but he denied that he cant do this …he don’t respects my Decisions.nd then I broke up for first time so he was ready to change and  his questions became a bit less,but again almost same .or may be I have no energy anymore to bear his attitude even when he said he is  trying to improve .

Hallo Airene ,

thank you so much for ur comment .this comment will be a bit long .

i am guilty because i know he is very sensitive and he had told me bfore he won’t be able to live it’s hard fr him i just think how is he doing ? If he is hurting frm this break up ? I dnt want to hurt anyone.

He was good and bad both i can say . He loves me alot and care for me may be .treats me like his princess . I remember when our relationship started i used to compare his treatment wd my exes nd i found he really loves me .

We were in  relationship from last 2,5 months.i become now a different person .it was February when we started this relationship.before that i was a girl with passion,had confidence,motivated,care free and drama free kinda person ,i used to go library daily for 3-7 hours,cooked most of the time dressed up i wanted to look good and infrnt of mirror i thought i am beautiful.who would only start having fun whenever she hang out with her friends or family or people .and used to laugh with others.

but now nt more ,i have no energy to get up from bed from last two weeks i was weeping all day  i started feeling i am alone in this whole world,i have no friends no family.because of his insecurity nd jealousy nd contrtrolling nature he accused me with my guys friends or  with my cousin .i stopped my all social contacts.

his all day checking my mobile more than his own mobile.snooping .deleting or texting people he even blocked my cousin. I know he flirts sometimes but he was the one who sent me money when i financially disturbed he sent me 1000 euro last month .nd i went wd my bf to receive tht money.

meanwhile i was financially broke and couldn’t find job as i was 24/7 with his drama .

my study got badly effective.because he wanted to be all 24/7 with me and called me after every 30 mints in a day and would ask me to tell him what i am doing and what i was doing from last few hours . I mean in a day whenever he calls he ll ask everything and then with that everything he has 1000 problems that why i am talking to tht person who is he or she whr they live .how do u know them and most torturing question fr me was „how come they contacted u today i never heard abt them frm u „?

So i went to doctor for my mental health bcz i was shouting,being mad , frustrated irritated frm him .i was totally boycotting Social life . Nd was talking to him all day .i was calling my family once a week .

my doctor recommended me Psychologist and therapy but i couldn’t get any appointment and i m lost  I m taking antidepressant tablets now

Nd i feel guilty also that i once or twice blamed him for my condition.may b i am wrong to do so but i feel helpless whn i cm to discuss smthng wd him till i dnt shout he doesnt believed me or stopped arguing . Ther was always arguing bt never a result . .